The cold within

   Every once and a while a book, article or poem crosses my path and attracts my attention. What I have come to appreciate since becoming part of a journalistic world is how difficult it sometimes can be to put thoughts down on paper and have them make sense to the reader. I know what I want to say, but the challenge becomes selecting the words so others understand my thoughts. It is easy to come up with words. Our vocabulary has too many of them. It is more difficult to choose the ones that express the emotion and passion I wish to share.

   I have come to admire those writers who make the art of writing seem so effortless. Whether it is a news story or one of these crazy columns, it has sharpened my writing skills and given me a new understanding of how difficult it can be to express oneself in written words.

   I am always on the lookout for something that causes me to pause, ponder the message and challenge my thinking. It is somewhat of an test for my personal grounding and values.

   Several years ago I came across a poem. I had all but forgotten about it until I found packed away in a folder with some meaningless piece of paper as I cleaned and straighten up the garage. So much for my appreciation of literature, right?

   As I read it again for the first time in many years, I was struck by its message, simple, yet a revelation about people and human behavior. A cold chill ran up and down my spine ,along with that “aha” moment, as I thought about the sticks of wood that I often hold in my hand.

   I do not remember how the poem came into my possession or anything about the writer other than his name. I believe I was told it was written by a high school student. Whether that is true or not, I don't know. But regardless of his age, the message is insightful and packed with some powerful life lessons.

   So for your reading pleasure..............

                                      The Cold Within

Six humans trapped by happenstance, in bleak and bitter cold,

Each one possessed a stick of wood, or so the story's told.

Their dying fire in need of logs, the first man held his back,

For of the faces 'round the fire, he noticed one was black.

The next man looking cross the way, saw one not from his church,

And couldn't bring himself to give the fire his stick of birch.

The third one sat in tattered clothes, he gave his coat a hitch,

Why should his log be put to use to warm the idle rich.

The rich man just sat back and thought of the wealth he had in store,

And how to keep what he had earned from lazy, shiftless poor.

The black man's face bespoke revenge as the fire passed from sight,

For all he saw in his stick of wood was a chance to spite the white.

The last man of this forlorn group did naught except for gain,

Giving only to those who gave was how he played the game.

Their logs held tight in death's still hand was proof of human sin,

They didn't die from the cold outside, they died from the the cold within.

                                                                Jay Patrick Kinney

The bully pulpit and other political devices.........

   Definition: According to Wikipedia, a “bully pulpit” is defined as a position sufficiently conspicuous to provide an opportunity to speak out and be listened to.

   I recently came across an article about Theodore Roosevelt, one of our more colorful American Presidents and remembered that he had coined the phrase “bully pulpit”, using the White House as his 'pulpit' from which he attempted to generate public support for his political policies and agendas. For sure, being President of the United States, today more commonly referred to as POTUS, is certainly a position of power and of potentially significant influence, a 'bully pulpit' for those who wish to be leaders. But along with that advantage of 'the pulpit' comes responsibility and a level of respect for the influence it yields. Perhaps local state houses also become 'bully pulpits' for governors or wanna be's and other local leaders as well.

   Before going on, however, let me add that in the days of President Roosevelt, the word 'bully' had a much different meaning than it does today, a more positive meaning. 'Bully' was an adjective meaning wonderful, superb, outstanding. When someone shouted “bully for you” it meant “good for you!”

   Today, however, the term 'bully' has a different meaning. A 'bully' is someone who uses 'negative tactics' as a way to force, intimidate or dominate others, bullying tactics.

   From a bit of my past, at a fairly young age, Timmy Barrett would attempt to bully me on the playground after school in an attempt to get me to give him my baseball glove. No way! Of course, my first name often contributed to taunts and name-calling as well from some of his friends.... until the day I picked up a stick and whacked Timmy across his forehead. From that point on and after a trip to the principal's office, Timmy never bothered me again.

   From the days of Teddy Roosevelt to 2017, being a bully has evolved from being “wonderful and superb” to being someone who uses force and coercion to get what they want. Sound familiar?

  Having been on the side of one who has been bullied, at the time I was too young to really understood the motivation and reasons. Yes, I had a nice baseball glove, lived in a home with a mother and father, did not live on the street or was not homeless as a child.

   I had goals and dreams. True. I came from a middle class family, although some thought my family was rich. I wanted to go on to college, become successful at a job and raise a family. I felt an obligation to give back to my country and community. I wasn't angry, didn't carry a chip on my shoulder because I had been forced out of my house to live on the street or feel the need to make fun of others others who I perceived as better than I was. I had the support of caring adults in my life, both family and friends.

   A person can not walk through any school hallway at any grade level in Maine without seeing the signs and posters about “bullying'. “Just Say No to Bullying.” This is a Bully-Free Zone.

   But I have come to the conclusion, over time and life experiences, that the key to whether someone becomes a bully or remains as one as an adult is rooted in role models and a feeling of being in control of one's life. The prerequisites for success are a matter of perception. If a person feels there is an imbalance is social or political power then that person will use the behaviors they feel necessary to either level the playing field or in some cases, even gain the upper hand. And often those behaviors will follow into adulthood.

   I often wonder what motivates someone to run for a political office. Is it a desire to serve, to give back in some way to those who had been a positive impact on a life or is it driven by the need to gain or regain control over something which there is little or no control. Is it to gain the advantage of having a 'bully pulpit' in order to be heard?

   It was easy for me to pick up the stick and hit Timmy in the forehead. It felt good! And although I was frustrated at the time with Timmy's constant bullying me, standing up to the bullying may have turned out to be a good thing. I proved to myself and others at a young age that I could take on the bully and win.

   In its original definition, a 'bully pulpit ' was a position of conspicuous opportunity to speak out and be listened to. But that definition has changed. What happens when a 'bully pulpit' becomes nothing more than a present day 'bully'? Is that effective leadership? And what happens when the bully realizes that no one is listening or cares any more?

The Twelve Days of Christmas revisited.......

   I am so excited that the President of the United States has given his permission for us to say "Merry Christmas" again that I thought I would celebrate his personal holiday generosity by updating some of  my favorite holiday carols...oops...I meant to say Christmas carols.
 
  So for starters, I thought I might start with the 12 Days of Christmas. You all know how the tune goes, so feel free to sing along.
                 
                                                                                               
                                                                        😃😃😃😃😃


   On the 1st of Christmas my President gave to me......a "yuge" income tax increase to offset the decrease he gave to himself, his family and the others living in the swamp.

   On the 2nd of Christmas, my President gave to me....cuts to my medicare (as a retiree so I would have to pay more out of pocket ) and with it a guarantee  to increase  my health insurance premiums.

   On the 3d of Christmas my President gave to me..... three chants of "lock her up"

   On the 4th of Christmas my President gave to me.... four different lies about Russia and his non-involvement in collusion.

   On the 5th day of Christmas my President gave to me..... five new tweets about Jim Comey. He just can't let this go!!

   On the 6th day of Christmas my President gave to me....  a complete 'unedited', edited set of Sarah Huckaby Sanders' White House daily briefings dating back to her first day on the job, along with a signed copy of her promise not to lie to the press.

   On the 7th day  of Christmas my President gave to me....all of his excuses and denials that he has done nothing to obstruct justice, at least in the past week.

   On the 8th day of Christmas my President gave to me.... eight denials that he ever touched or attempted to  mistreat maids a milking.

   On the 9th day of Christmas my President gave to me....nine drummers drumming with a list of all he has accomplished since he took office in January.     
 
   On the 10th day of Christmas my President gave to me....a year's free subscription to Fox News so that I can get the real news and not that fake 'stuff' the others  report out about him.

   On the 11th day of Christmas my President gave to me....eleven Big Macs, , 5 chocolate milk shakes and a bottle of antacid tablets.

   On the 12th day of Christmas my President gave me a list of everyone he has or will fire before the end of the year

   And on 13th day of Christmas  ( oh my, one too many),  my President gave to me......his official letter of resignation, resigning from the position of President, because he found it interfered with his golf schedule and his overseas trips to check on his new hotels in Russia!

   And with that......I wish you all a Merry Christmas and maybe something to look forward to next year
 

Tired of it!!!!! Just plain tired

Perhaps the time has come to reread Henry David Thoreau"s Civil Disobedience.

What if...............

There is a commercial on television where the word 'life' is part of a product name and as part of the advertisement, they highlight the word 'if' within the word 'life'. Very clever, and very true. Life  holds a series of 'ifs' for us and it is up to us to do what we will when confronted with those 'ifs'. How many times have you heard someone say...”what if I don't pass the test” or “what if I am late to the appointment.”

What if people said... “may I, please, and thank you?” Would it be a kinder world? Would people be more polite toward each other? Would there be less violence. Interesting to think about!

Baseball caps have become part of a wardrobe and a culture. But what if... a young man took off his cap upon entering a room or restaurant. What would happen if the young man removed his cap upon meeting someone new. Would that person thing more highly of the young man?

What if...politicians kept the promises they made during the campaign and worked as hard after the election as they did to get themselves elected. Now I know promises are hard to keep  and as a result, some might decide to make fewer promises or at least make ones they know they can keep.

What if, on a given day, no one used a cell phone or a blackberry and just went about life as it used to be. A person was recently interviewed on his way from an eye exam. He was concerned that his sight was failing. He reported that he texts someone about every forty to fifty seconds. No wonder his eyesight is going bad. His texting  may have been preventing him from a daily schedule of personal hygiene as it appeared he needed a shower, a shave, and a comb. Come on, every forty seconds???

What if... everyone stayed within the speed limits on the highways? Would there be fewer accidents and could money be saved with fewer police and lower insurance rates? So what if it took a bit longer to get to where your were going. Leave earlier.

What if... a law were passed to force families  to sit down and have dinner together once a week? Before someone comes unglued with my suggestion of government interference into everyday life, I know the law would never pass. I mean, look at the biker helmet law. And that one is designed to help save lives. Think about the potential positive outcomes of sitting down together as a family or with friends (for those who do not have families). You wouldn't have to text them for at least an hour!

What if... stores were not allowed to be open on Sundays? Is it really necessary to  shop seven days a week? There once was a time when.........I think it was called the 1950's and most of us grew up OK!

And what if, just for a minute each day, we stopped to think about how fortunate we are to be able to live and move about freely, wear what we want, think what we want, eat what we like and read what we enjoy.

Please feel free to send me your “what if”...........

Life begins at 40 and other 'pearls of wisdom' for living....

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Each morning we get up and navigate our way through another day of work or play. But what really drives our actions, those beliefs that serve as our guide post and inspiration? Are they taught to us by our our parents, our religious or spiritual beliefs or are they some common sense set of standards that become part of our every day life?

Each day we are bombarded with 'pearls of wisdom' from those around us, those brief one liners that sometimes brings a smile to our face or a message to the heart. Here are  a few  that you may have heard.

I begin with a Maine  classic. “If it aint't broke, don't fix it!” It is quite apparent that this old adage has been rejected by many who run our government as it appears their primary purpose is to find something to fix, and if they can't, they make something up.

“Today is the first day of the rest of your life.” Well of course it is! If it were not, it would be yesterday. Right?

When my daughters were younger and dating, prior to leaving the house I would warn them “ the night has a thousand eyes.” Very simple. “There could be someone out there who knows who you are.” There were times I knew about things even before they got home.

“It's not over 'til the fat lady sings'. Now I know there is a musical reference here, probably the opera. But I think the meaning  is that it's not over until it's over. Sounds a bit like Yogi Berra, don't you think?

Many people get very upset when they make  mistakes. “Making mistakes can mean that you are learning faster.” The key here, however, is that we learn from  mistakes. The definition of stupidity is said to be “ doing the same thing over and over the same way, hoping for a different result.”

There are several 'pearls' that fall into a common category. “Into one's life some rain must fall.”  Each day does not always begin sunny and warm. Once and a while we may be given  a bowl of lemons. What to do? “Make lemonade!” Life gives us choices and opportunities. We can either choose to act or not.  Remember, however, that by not making a choice, in reality, you are making a choice.... not to choose.

I overheard some recent high school graduates talking. One commented that he wished he could predict the future,  then he would know what courses to take in college. To my surprise, the other responded by saying that the best way the predict the future was to create it!” Wow, I was impressed. Now there was a true young philosopher or maybe he remembered what his mother had told him..

So if life truly begins at 40, were the first 39 years just practice?  Is the beginning of wisdom really 'silence'? Should you listen before you speak? Is it sometimes better to “do nothing''? Is 'true wealth not how much money you have, but how you live your life'?

By stringing some of these pearls together, you can make yourself a very nice necklace and in the process, live a pretty good life.

What shall I have for breakfast today?

   The sun peaks between the curtains in the bedroom window. It's another day. A new beginning. The first question, after a quick trip to the bathroom of course, is 'what to have for breakfast.' Trying to watch my weight, it's not going to be Frosted Flakes or some large cinnamon breakfast pastry. Yogurt again?

   After pouring myself a cup of coffee (no cream or sugar), do I want to watch the news on TV, read the morning paper, or read a few more chapters of the latest novel I started? Opting to read the newspaper, I usually go the the 'Horoscopes' first. While I generally do not allow them to determine the kind of day I might have, often they do provide some insight.

   On this particular day I am warned that it will be a day “filled with questions that may require difficult or elusive decisions, potentially effecting the next couple of days ahead.”

   Every day we are confronted with the need to make decisions, some of them very important, ones that could have a powerful impact upon life. As humans, we are generally very bad at making decisions and choices, especially when it comes to the 'big ones.'

   The process of making a big, difficult decision can cause sleepless nights, fear and regret for making the wrong decisions, or just not knowing the potential outcomes of the choices we make.

   Most of the decisions we make on a daily basis occur without really even thinking about them. What to have for breakfast or what to wear to work do not require a great deal of thought, unless you have a job interview and what you wear may have some degree of important. Does this tie really match my sport coat?

   As a child, many of the decisions that effect our lives are made by parents or older brothers and sisters. “If you tell mom or dad about the party, I'll kill you.” But I'm too young to die!

   The first important decision most face is...”What do you want to be when you grow up?”  How do I know? I can't even cross the street by myself yet and now I have to decide on a job or career. Whatever!

   Over time we do learn how to make decisions and we discover that there are really only two things to consider, 'you' and the process you use. It is at this point that things sometimes fall apart.

   The 'you' part is pretty simple. If you are having a good day, the decisions made may work out well, but a bad day may lead to much different results. Under pressure or stress? It probably is not a good day to make that all important decision. Let your body be your guide. Quite simply, how do you feel?

   In general, good moods often equal good decisions,  while bad moods...

   The second thing to consider is the process to use. Some people use intuition, others may take a more rational or organized approach, such as laying out a decision tree or map or use the Ben Franklin model, consisting of a piece of paper with two columns, one  labeled 'pro', the other 'con'. Worked for him.

  Some thoughts about making good decisions? First. Listen to instincts, but don't let them be the boss. Next. Try to look at all the alternatives. Third. If you have a bit of time on your side, separate yourself from the emotions of the moment. Distance gives perspective. Fourth. By not making a decision, you are, in actually, making a decision. You are deciding not to decide. Not a good idea if you are seeking an outcome of some kind.

   So,  what to have for breakfast today? Instead, I think I'll just go back to bed and try to catch an extra minutes of sleep.

How looking back maybe just got easier...

   My first car was a four door 1964 Plymouth Valiant. It was light blue with big old white wall tires. I don't remember too much else about the car, only that power windows had not been invented yet and that if I went through a puddle of water, the car would stop. It seems as though there was a design flaw, that being the placement of the alternator in the engine was near the bottom of the engine block, too close to the road and when it got wet, the car would shut down. OK. Before someone else says it...it was a fair weather car.

And who can forget that a gallon of gas was just 31 cents.

   Despite the little quirks, the car got me back and forth to college in West Virginia for several years, out on dates in Fair Lawn, N.J and most of the time, on time to summer jobs, except when it was raining of course. It served its purpose.

  Fast forward to  late 2016. I recently bought a new car, at least new to me. It is just a bit over a year old with low mileage and is nothing like that 1964 blue Valiant. Yes, it has power windows and I don't think it will stop running in the rain. Tucked somewhere inside the radio, I guess, is something called 'Bluetooth' that allows me to talk on my cell phone without it leaving my pocket. I don't even have to dial a number. I push a little green button on the steering wheel and this voice asks me what number I want to call. Cool!

   Heated seats are nice, especially in colder climates and rear hatches on SUV's that pop open with the touch of the key are great when your arms are full of grocery bags. But what I really like is the backup camera.

   Now I am not getting any younger and one of the things I am finding is that my mobility is not quite what it use to be. Sure. I can still swing a golf club or throw a tennis ball for the dog. I can still look in the rear view mirror or turn my head to the left or right when I am ready to back the car out of the garage or from one of those tiny parking spaces at the mall. But what I have found is that the backup camera really does help, with an addition view, although it does take a bit of getting use to.

   Put the car in 'R' and a picture immediately appears on a screen in the dashboard. Now, the first time I did this, the car salesperson was standing immediately behind the car, his face just inches away from the camera. He laughed and I screamed. He is pretty scary to look at, even in the camera.

But after some practice, the camera has become a helpful driving tool. In the garage, I start the car, shift it into reverse, after I have opened the garage door of course, and I get a full picture of my driveway and the neighbor’s house across the street. I sure won't back into his house now, not that I ever did.

   With some degree of ease and feeling a bit more aware of those things going on around me, I now slip in and out of parking places at the grocery store, the local Dunkin Donuts and Walmart. I still adjust the rear view mirror, and look behind me to the left and the right before stepping on the gas, but the camera does add another level of safety.

There have been a lot of changes in cars and trucks since my first 1964 Plymouth Valiant. Power window, heated seats, backup cameras are only a few of the innovations designed to make the journey through life a bit easier, more comfortable and safer.

   We know that sometimes when we drive, we need to backup in order to move forward and get to where we want to go. Life in general is like that also. That backup camera inside the car gives us not only a picture of where we have been, but also where we need to go before moving forward.

   The same holds true for life outside the car. While we don't have our own electronic backup camera, we probably have something just as good. I think we call that 'life's experiences', lessons and memories. It may not be quite like what we see on the screen of the backup camera on the dashboard of the car, the things we remember can often remind us of what's behind us, where we have been and where we are may be headed.

   And as for that new backup camera? Already I wonder how I have managed to get along without it for so long. Whoa! How did that shopping cart get there?

Making a case for who to 'believe' and 'trust'

   If you are feeling a bit disenfranchised with this year's politics so far, you are probably not alone. Many that I talk with have become discouraged and fed up,  not only with the behavior of some of the people in  office, but the media as well. There was a time in history when  the political process was a time when people would get excited and energized, wave banners and straw hats, and when a good healthy discussion fostered challenging  debates and dialogue. Now it just seems to be constant bickering and arguing.

   There was a time when you would listen to those we elected as representatives and  'believed' what they were saying and 'trusted' that it was the truth. Those days may long be gone and in part, we have no one to blame but ourselves. We want to know “all the dirt.”

   The words 'trust' and 'believe' often get used interchangeably. Trust can be  defined as a confidence in the honesty and reliability of another person. Belief is defined as accepting something to be true such as someone's words or actions.

   As you listen to the elected officials speak about themselves and each other, who do you believe? Who should you believe? ( Yes Governor Le Page..do you really lie to the press?) Have we lost sight of a foundations of the core principles of personal honesty and integrity making it difficult to decide? Why have we become a society skeptical of a man or woman's word. Perhaps it is because too often actions have spoken louder than words. There is an old expression that begins...do as I say and not ...as I.did!

   One of the factors that may seem to move us farther and farther from the truth is the result of the huge amounts of money that are spent by the political parties. It may be the new 'golden rule'. “He who has the gold... rules.” Unfortunately, there are some good people, many who are folks just like you and me, who would be excellent people to lead but lack the financial resources to 'get into the race'.

   The media now plays a much bigger (huge) role in the political process as it seeks 'to vet'  people of past indiscretions and actions.  Any person naive  enough to think some past acts or action can remain hidden and still decides to run for elected office needs to find a 'bridge for sale'...... somewhere. Perhaps that bridge should be the bride to nowhere. Good people sometime do crazy things. We all make mistakes and wish there were some things we could do over. “Fess up” and move forward. Learn from  mistakes.

   It may be those people, honest right from the beginning, we can  come to “believe and trust” and those will get my support. We all make mistakes!

Who will speak for me?

   Most of the time when I sit down to write, I have a pretty good idea about the topic or what I want to say. There may have been a recent event, a funny experience or an interaction with someone that triggers some thoughts to share. This week, hover, my mind seems to be working overtime, with a number of thoughts and ideas and it has been difficult to focus on just one topic.

   In suppose I could write about the President and a new use for duct tape. But quite frankly, I am tired of all the attention he receives when he just can't seem to keep his mouth shut. It's not the responsibility of the duct tape to control what comes out of his mouth.

   On a sporty note, I could write about the Red Sox and the hope of the team making it to the playoffs. When your favorite team is in the thick of the race, it can get pretty exciting. Sorry Yankees, it doesn't look like this year...but then stranger things have happened. 

   The news in recent weeks has been consumed with endless amounts of bad to terrible news, in particular the events in Syria. I am unable to understand who and why such things occur. The pictures on television of the dead or dying children, the results of the chemical warfare inflicted upon their own people is beyond understanding. What is even more troubling is the inability of other nations around around the world either not willing or reluctant to do anything. But that raises the question...”What can be done?”

   From the beginning of time, I would assume nations, countries and people have used 'war' to solve their problems, foster their causes and control their people. Even the United States has not been immune to such actions.

   For example one only needs to go back to the Civil War the fight to free the slaves of this country as an example. The results? Hundreds were killed and in some cases the struggle for equality still continue to this day.  Again the question remains...”What was gained?”

   World War II, Korea, Vietnam, the Middle East Conflict(s) should serve as reminders to the usefulness and value of wars and military conflicts. But too so we forget. And in the 21^st century, the tools of war are even more dangerous than the early Revolutionary War rifles or the simple grenade being thrown into a foxhole. Science and technology, man's ability to greater new and more powerful means of mass destruction have moved us into a new world of terror. The scares of the children's faces are the new scare of the world's  society.

   In 1946 as the world struggled with the World War II, a minister by the name of Martin Niemoller is credited with writing a poem. Since his initial writing, it has seen several adaptations to the wording in the original version, but the message beneath the words is still the same:

                     “First they came for the communists and I did not speak out because I was                   not a communist.

                       Then they came for the socialist, and I did not speak out because I was not a socialist.

                     Then they came for the trade unionists and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a trade unionist.

                      Then they came for me, and there was no one left to speak for me.”

Spring Watch

   ‘Spring watch’ for me usually begins during the third or fourth week of January, depending upon the weather. Often during this period we will have a thaw that acts as a bit of a tease. The snow begins to melt off the roof, neighbors take their cars to the car wash and the Johnny Seeds catalogue arrives in the mail. I begin to watch the increasing amount of daylight announced on the weather forecast each evening and then race to the window to make sure it is really happening.

     But within a few short hours the harsh reality returns that winter is not yet over as the next major storm blows though dropping a mere ten more inches on top of that which is already on the ground. The warm breezes of the previous several days are replace by chilly blasts of arctic cold. The early morning news broadcasts announce another closing of school.  At least the kids are happy.

     Wintery February days seems to pass at a snails pace in anticipation of the coming season. There are forty more minutes of daylight.  The seed order has arrived and there is talk about the upcoming Red Sox season. The state basketball tournament is history. All this helps to pass the time. With the arrival of March there is a renewed enthusiasm that spring is just around the corner and although March 20 signals its first official day, there are already many unofficial signs.

     The days of March seem endless. It may be raining today and surely that will help melt the snow.  The roads are covered with dirt and sand from the winter storms.  Most of that sand seems to be on the grass in my front yard, a sign of some spring yard cleanup. 

     So what are the signs of spring in northern New England?  By now there are over two hours of increases daylight and we have set the clocks ahead for daylight savings time soon. Opening day at Fenway is scheduled for April3. (Is it really the Yankees this year?) The seeds I had planted are beginning to show signs of life.  I can get the morning paper at the end of the driveway without having to put on a winter coat and I can walk cautiously across the front lawn, picking my steps carefully as not to leave my shoes stuck in the mud.

     But the sure sign of spring is that the neighborhood is coming alive as people are out and about, just like me. They walk up and down the streets each evening or early on Saturday morning and offer a friendly “hello” and a wave. The heavy winter coats and boots have given way to the brightly colored fleece and sneakers. Oh yes, there is also a smile of accomplishment on each face as deep down inside we know that we made it through another Maine winter.

          I just hope that Mother Mature doesn’t play an April Fools’ joke on us again, although.........it doesn't sound good for Saturday!!!!!.

It was kind of a sad moment.....

   We had been back from our trip about two weeks. I went to the freezer to find there were only two bagels left, bagels we had brought back from New Jersey. The morning we left to return home to Maine, even before the stop at the gas station, the first place was the local bagel shop.

   Growing up in New Jersey also meant growing up with some of the best bagels on the planet. True. One can purchase them in many different flavors, from either the frozen food shelf or the bakery section of the grocery store. But there is no better experience than walking into the local bagel shop, with the air filled with the smell of freshly baked bagels and being tempted to reach into the warm bag and biting into one of those warm,, tasty morsels even before getting out the door.

   My favorites tend to be the more traditional, plain, sesame seed. poppy seed (although never before going to meet someone) and blueberry. Every once a a while, I will add one or two, made of different dough , perhaps rye or whole grain. Whole grain is suppose to be better for you, right? But my favorite is still the plain one.

Back in the car, it was only a minute or two before the car was filled with the luscious aroma and even the dog took an interest in the bag, nose working hard to locate the smell, but now the bag was safely out of his reach and ours too, at least until we got home.

   For me, bagels have always been a popular addition to morning breakfast. Come to think of it, they are good just about anytime of the time. Whether fresh from the toaster and drenched in melting butter, or coated in cream cheese or just plan, the dense and chewy interior, wrapped with a crisp exterior often 'hits the spot' for a morning, afternoon or evening snack.

   Traditionally, bagels are shaped by hand in the form of a ring or circle and made from yeast dough. What makes them special is that they are boiled for a short time before being placed in the oven. I am not sure if the ones purchased from the freezer of your local grocery store are prepared in the same 'traditional' way. Size wise, they are much smaller, and in this case, size does matter!

   Historically, bagels first appeared in the early 1600's in Poland and it was not long before this rich and doughy pastry became part of the Polish diet and within a few decades its popularity rolled through Europe.

   Entry into the United States market occurred as Polish- Jewish immigrants moved from Europe to New York City. Bagel shops and an entirely new industry quickly spread across the city under the control and watchful eye of the Bagel Bakers Local 338, carefully maintaining its tradition of yeast dough and 'hand made'.

   Later companies would experiment and expand the bagel's popularity with automated techniques for mass production and before long, the bagel found its way into plastic packaging and the freezers of you local store.

    On this particular morning, nearly two weeks after returning home, we would finish the last two bagels. A sad moment. Yes. They were in the freezer to keep the somewhat fresh, but these were still the real thing, a crisp exterior, a doughy and chewy interior and ones that were not pre-cut, but required skillful hands or the use of the 'family bagel knife', the one passed down through generations, to split into two pieces in order to fit neatly into the toaster. No microwave here. The toaster will do just fine. And the butter and cream cheese were already in place on the counter along with a glass of orange juice and a freshly brewed cup of coffee. Almost heaven!

   We will be heading to Jersey again sometime soon and will make the familiar stop at the local bagel shop. But if anyone is coming to Maine this summer, a 'couple dozen' freshly baked bagels will always be welcomed at our house. And go ahead. Mix them up, but be sure to include a couple of plain ones too! I'll supply the butter and cream cheese.

   Did you know......'Bagel' is a Yeshivish term for sleeping 12 hours straight. “I slept a bagel last night.” Its origin may be traced to the fact that the hour hand on a clock moves in the shape of a bagel over the course of twelve hours. I knew there was a reason why I liked bagels!!

So where do you hang out?

   Most of us go through life with a daily routine and generally are not aware of the other things going on around us. Yes, we sense there are other people there, but we focus only on ourselves and the task at hand.

   Most of us live or life by getting lost in our work each day,may join a club or activity that involves people and the interaction with others. But as we get older and in my case retirement, our life changes. The time we looked forward to now takes on a new excitement and... fear. Who will I have to talk to?

   The loss of a spouse or family member at anytime is difficult, but living alone at an older age can be can be frightening. Look at the growing industry of Assisted living centers. Even if a spouse is still alive, the shift to retirement can be difficult. Going to work every day got one out of the house and gave the chance to interact with others, but now...........wow. The number one question?What am I going to do today?

   Today's retirees are a very different bunch. We tend to be younger and more active. We grew up in a time where there were more opportunities to do things when compared to previous generations. There was Woodstock!!! The sudden change from this active life to one more sedate can really shock the system. So what do do?

   We revert back to the behaviors of our youth. We hang out. As teens, we hung out on the street corner or behind the bleachers. As we grew older, it became drinks or dinner after work. It could be a church or a social group, joining the Rotary Club, but always participating in some sort of social networking. But people grow older, move away or pass away and those opportunities for the survivors are not as available as they once were.

   But today... it's McDonald's to the rescue, or some similar fast food chain. Many mornings on my way through town I will stop to pick up a cup of coffee. There are four different fast food restaurants within a stone's throw of each other and I try to visit a different one each time. Spread to wealth , you know!!. It didn't take me long to become aware of the different social groups that were “holding court” at each location. But here is the interesting point. At one place, it is a group of retired couples, the next spot is a group of men, and the third is made up of women. The fourth location is generally empty. No 'senior specials'. Boy are they missing ut.

   On the warmer, sunny afternoons, a different group gathers at one of the parking lots, securing a good view of the highway but with a watchful eye upon their chrome enhanced motorcycles. True, this group tends to be a bit younger, but I am not really sure. It's the gray hair in the pony tail that fools me. OK. I am just jealous. The ponytail and the 'bike'.

  But we may have created a national emergency here, however. I have heard that at certain locations, although I personally have not seen it, there have been high stakes bingo games and wild and uncontrolled card games that needed police intervention. Oh we are a crazy generation!