Coming To An End…

   The year 2022 is rapidly coming to a close. The last few weeks of each year are often filled with a lot of excitement, celebration and family fun. The days and weeks finishing out each year can be very busy and depending upon your personal beliefs and family backgrounds, religious celebrations, and other cultural beliefs they can add to the pleasure and excitement of the time. But with the ending of an old year and the beginning of a new one, there is one additional tradition that has spanned over four thousand years of history. Yes…4000+  I am referring to the making of the New Year’s Resolution.

   From the early days of the Babylonians to this year’s New Year’s eve parties of 2022, many have and will continue to look back on the past year, identify the successes and failures and come up with a new list of resolutions for the new year. And as this tradition has evolved and changed over the generations from being more religious in nature to more individual and personal in nature, the process has pretty much stayed the same. It begins with a simple question one askes themselves… what mistakes did I make this past year and how can I learn from them?

   On the lighter side of life, a number of those resolutions seem pretty simple. My New Year’s resolution is to lose weight or maybe it’s time to throw out some of my old clothes. But on a more serious note perhaps the resolution may have something to do with breaking up with an old boyfriend or girlfriend or getting a new job because your boss is making life a bit too uncomfortable for you.

   Now I will admit that I have not been the most effective in keeping my New Year’s resolutions. If I could get through the first three or four weeks of the new year I might consider it a success, but sometimes old habits are difficult to break. (That would make a great New Year’s resolution)

   Perhaps, after doing a bit of research, I found there may be some steps to take and points to consider to be more successful. First, pick one area or one thing you would like to change and make sure that it is something that, if you work at it, you can achieve. I will never make the NFL.

   The second point to consider is to plan ahead. Don’t wait until the last minute. In addition to putting additional pressure on yourself causing a bit more frustration, there may be some things you want to change but need additional time and preparation.

   Pick a start date. Changes do not need to be made on New Years Day. By picking a start date it gives you time to get your mind in the right place. And in addition to a start date, develop a timeline. Give yourself enough time to meet any unforeseen challenges and be sure to give yourself credit to the small wins along the way.

   One of the better activities to consider when attempting to establish a new year’s resolution is to look back at some of the failures and mistakes from the previous year. Mistakes and failure are not always bad. They can teach us some very important lessons for the future. The important point here is to be sure you learn from those mistakes and avoid making them again.

   So now… the really important question. Should you tell someone what your New Year’s resolution is? That is a difficult question, because if you tell them and you fail…..well you know what I am thinking. But perhaps they can also provide support if needed. On occasion, in the past, I would write my resolution on a sticky note and post it somewhere, generally out of sight of others, but in a place where I could see it on a regular basis to serve as a gentle reminder. And another possibility? Keep a journal.

   As the countdown to 2023 begins, if you are planning to follow the long-term tradition of coming up with a New Year’s resolution for the coming year, remember that as the thousands of other before you did, remind yourself that the goal is to spark a positive change in your life. It doesn’t need to be big. It just needs to bring you some personal satisfaction and a feeling of accomplishment, no matter how small or insignificant the change may be. It’s about you.

   So with this year coming to an end, I wish you all a very happy and wonderful New Year and look forward to 2023.

 

Some Thoughts On Being A Grandparent…

   Being a grandparent can be a constant reminder of how old one has become. But setting that aside for a moment, it can also serve as a reminder of how much fun life can be watching the children of your children grow up. Grandpa and grandma get to see, while watching their own children raise their own families, many of the joys and challenges that may have been missed, forgotten, or just overlooked. Being a grandparent is an entirely unique experience and I am glad that I am having the opportunity to watch and in many cases learn how growing up in many ways has changed from sixty-five plus years ago.

   But on a personal note, it is heartwarming and exciting to see the grandchildren transition from childhood to adulthood, preparing to take their place in life, whether it be attending college and preparing for a career, taking some time off to explore the constantly changing world or just simply give grandma and grandpa a call or stopping by to see how things are going.

   If they were to ask my advice, which I might or might not do, there are a few lessons and memories that I would pass on, because these are items that have not really changed over time and are still part of growing up.

   Each day is a new beginning and success is based, in large part, on the lessons and experiences learned from the day before and while some of those experiences may have been successful, there may be some that one might consider failures. But remember that failures, although they may hurt and disappoint at times, are nothing more than lessons to be learned.

   One of the more challenging parts of growing up and growing older is to have a better understanding of how and why you feel the way you do. One day you could be incredibly happy and the next day you may spend most of the day in tears and not understanding why you are crying. There may be days when anger fills the heart and mind but then within a few minutes the anger is replace with a love and compassion you may have never experienced before.

   And while you struggle to gain an understanding of what has happened, keep in mind that life is like a file cabinet and a storehouse for previous attitudes and emotions that, without notice, can come to the surface when we least expect them. A forgotten memory, a line from a television show, or the words to a song can stimulate strong feelings and emotions for no obvious reason, only that those emotions and feelings live within each of us for years. Did I mention looking at old family pictures, especially the ones at the local beach or playing in the backyard with the countless number of pets over the years.

   As I began to think about being a grandparent myself, I thought back to the days while my grandparents were still alive and the experiences and opportunities we shared together. It was a different time and the generations were vastly different back then and while I don’t remember many specifics of what we did together, what I do remember is just being able to spend time with them, whether it be by talking on the phone or visiting them in person. And even to this day, often I will pick up a photo album or two and look at the pictures. And the fact still remains that no matter how old I get, not only am I now a grandparent, but I remain a grandchild to those who came before me within the family.

   So to my four granddaughters, I wish for them the best for a good and healthy life and hope that their lives will be filled with the joys and excitement that I was able to experience. Laugh when you need to, cry when you must, even if you don’t know why, forgive when it is needed, and learn from the lessons that life has to offer. And always remember that I will always love each one of you.

I need to add a brief addendum here. I know there will be some who will never become a grandparent for whatever reason. But through friendships with others who have become grandparents, meeting the family members, sharing a friendship and sharing stories, one can gain a sense of the grandparent experience. 

      

  

  

  

 

And The Answer Is…..

   Today’s world seems to be filled with more questions than answers. Wars and conflicts are raging around the world and they cannot seem to come to peaceful resolutions. People in leadership positions is constantly fighting with each other about a safe and secure future. There has been a significant rise in attacks on personal freedoms and how to respect the rights of others.

   I know there are many who believe that they have the answers to many of today’ problems. Whether it be controlling mass migrations by those who are seeking a better way of life, controlling the amount of carbon or other unhealthy substances being put into the air or mixing with the soil, there are those who claim to have the answers and will take almost any action to prove they are correct and have the solutions.

   Now, visiting a local coffee shop may find a group of elderly men in one corner and women in another corner discussing all of the current local and world events. Each shares  their individual ideas and in some cases this can lead to raised voices and the pointing of fingers. No. I am not talking about the current groups representing each one of us in this country in Washington, although if the shoe fits, it might be.

   Recently I was part of a small group involved in a discussion about the current state of affairs and some possible outcomes for the future, yet to be identified. The discussion ended respectfully with everyone agreeing that these are difficult times and that it would take a great deal of work to get back on a path where people could find ways to respect and work together for the future generations to come.

   Now, what I am about to share really did happen and as a result caused me to stop and think for a moment or two, wondering what the true meaning and why at this particular moment, this happened.

   I got into my car to head home and as I often do, I turned on one of my favorite radio stations and the song that filled the airwaves was being sung by one of my favorite folk groups. And the title of the song? Blowin In the Wind. The song was written by Bob Dylan in the ancient year 1962 and was sung by Peter, Paul, and Mary. And the words are as follows….                                  

           How many roads must a man walk down
         Before you call him a man?
         Yes, 'n' how many seas must a white dove sail
         Before she sleeps in the sand?
 

         Yes, 'n' how many times must the cannon balls fly
         Before they're forever banned?

         The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind.
         The answer is blowin' in the wind.

         How many times must a man look up
         Before he can see the sky?
         Yes, 'n' how many ears must one man have
         Before he can hear people cry?
         Yes, 'n' how many deaths will it take till he knows
         That too many people have died.

          The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind
          The answer is blowin' in the wind.

          How many years can a mountain exist
          Before it's washed to the sea?
          Yes, 'n' how many years can some people exist
          Before they're allowed to be free?
         Yes, 'n' how many times can a man turn his head
         Pretending he just doesn't see?

        The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind
        The answer is blowin' in the wind.

                                  Words and song originally by Bob Dylan

   As I listened to the song, I honestly felt that the timing of this, especially after the discussion sitting around the coffee table just minutes, had to be some type of message. And thinking about the year the song was written, 1962, with many of the issues and questions asked in the lyrics raised questions for me. Have we really changed in the last 62 years?

   Many reading this may say that to believe that the answers are out there ‘blowing in the wind’ may be a bit foolish, but maybe the message for me from the timing of this song on radio is that we need to keep talking, sharing the positive experiences and lessons of past generations for the next and new generations. Yes. We need to learn from history and often that is very difficult to do.