All tied up in knots...

   Those of you following some of my recent blogs may be seeing somewhat of a trend over the past several weeks. It's clean up and clean out time. Nothing is off limits. The tool shed, the garage, some area of the basement and even the storage compartments in the cars have been subject to the cleanup.

   At the bottom of the stairs to the basement is an old cedar trunk, somewhat of a family heirloom, and there was more piled on top of the trunk rather than stored inside. But with the top now free from clutter, why not take a peek inside? Maybe if the trunk were empty, it too could go to the auction.

   Looking inside, the trunk was almost empty. There were a few old drawings done by the kids when the were in school, some wedding and birth announcements from friends and family and.....a whole bunch of neckties, maybe 20 if not more!

   Most jobs and positions I held throughout my working career required that I wear a sport coat or a suit along with a necktie. Now you have to remember that I am coming from a different generation, where the dress for work was a bit more formal, where the dress code requirements were spelled out very precisely and were strictly enforced. By whom...you may ask? The dress code police, of course.

   It was a suit, a starched or neatly ironed white shirt and a 'conservative looking' necktie, nothing flashing with outlandish patterns or colors that could serve as a distraction. Muted stripes were always the ties of choice.

   Over the years it just became very natural to “dress up” each day and many of our generation continued the practice of a more formal work attire even though the dress code expectations became a bit more relaxed. Dress down Fridays! What a great idea. But, for those needing to wear neckties, what great and easy gift ideas for birthdays, Father's Day, Christmas or just because 'it was an on sale gift.'

   Now I am sure that somewhere out their in the “google land” there is a history of the necktie, where it originated, how it came to be, or who was it's inventor. But right now I was focused more on what was in the bottom of the trunk. I had not seen some of these ties for years. The colors and designs, the widths and the fabric revealed the numerous trends and styles changes over at least three decades. From floral prints to stripes, holiday designs to company logos, there was quite a variety. When laid out side by side on the floor, it offered a rainbow of vivid color and textures.

   As I examined each with the care as if I were meeting a long lost friend, I tried to remember...”who in their right mind would buy something of that color, let alone wear it in public.” But then I remembered. It was a different time and a different generation and men's neckties, like the length of a woman’s skirt, reflect what's popular in the fashion world.

   I carefully folded them and placed them back in the bottom of the trunk. I now understood why, at the auctions and yard sales across this great nation, boxes and trunks are stuffed with old ties, scarfs and other neck wear. No one really knows how to get rid of them or what to do with them should someone have difficulty parting with them. After all, many were gifts from you children and they were so proud when they gave it to you on your birthday.

   So. what to do with old, seemingly useless neckties? I have seen them woven together, used to replace worn out seats in chairs and benches or used to tie up tomato plants in the garden. I have even seen them used in place of a broken leather belt to hold up a pair of jeans, just before they fell below the top of the butt crack.

    I suppose someone could open up an”Old Tie Museum” in some town, desperate for a local attraction.

   I closed the top of the cedar chest and went upstairs. But here is where it gets really scary! I slide open the door of my bedroom closet and hanging neatly of several tie racks was the next generation of neckties, ready to join the others in the trunk and there had to be at least the same number as already in the trunk if not more. But ...they would not be joining the others this day!

I wonder if I still remember how to tie one of those Windsor knots? Let's see..it's left over right, then....

What would you do?

   You are walking by the water’s edge and you suddenly realize that someone is in the middle of the pond and they are drowning. But for whatever reason, this person is not screaming for help as one might expect of someone in this situation, but only continues to struggle on their own to survive, flapping their arms and kicking their feet in an effort to keep their head above water.  Is it because of personal pride?  Fear?  Embarrassment?  Need for control?  Or do they really not know how to ask for help? Do they not really know they are in the middle of a pond and drowning?

      You continue to watch for a minute or two longer and realize that perhaps you should do something.  But what?  Are you afraid to help because you don’t know what to do?  Can you put your own pride and ambitions aside and offer to help as best you can? Do you shout out to them…asking if they need help or assistance. Do you throw them a life line? Do you jump into the pond yourself and then suddenly realize you don’t know how to swim? Do you ask someone else to help you?  Or do you just turn your back and walk away and hope they are able to survive on their own or that someone else will come to the rescue?

      Someone desperately needs your help although they may not realize it themselves yet.  Please do the right thing and offer that help before it is too late. It may not be well received at first, even a bit painful perhaps. Someone may not initially grab at the lifeline you throw.  But in the end they may come to understand and realize that you were  really trying to help them and you and they will know that you were able to make a person’s life just a little bit better.

You Know You’re Getting Older When…

            I know that age is a relative concept, relative on any given day in mind, body and spirit. I used to think that someone was old if they were fifteen years older than I was and someone was young if they were fifteen years younger and really young when they asked if the car had been invented when I was a kid. (Don’t be smart!)

          But as I find myself progressing up the age scale, there are some other signs to remind me that I am not as young as I used to be.

          I don’t race to the door anymore to go into a store. If the door doesn’t open automatically I often find a teenager offering to hold the door for me. Do I look that frail and feeble? But the thought is nice and the offer polite and genuine. (That’s a topic for another column.) What throws me is when they use the word ‘sir’. ”May I help you sir?” Sir was always relegated to my father or grandfather.

          You may realize that you are getting older when one of your best friends becomes the nightlight that lights a pathway to the bathroom in the middle of the night. That never used to be a problem. So its one less glass of water before bedtime, but that doesn’t always work either.

          I can remember when the ‘early bird special’ was an early morning sale at Porteous, not dinner served at three o’clock in the afternoon at the local ”all you can eat buffet”. Oh well, the parking lot is too full to stop now anyhow. (Anyone remember Porteous besides me?)

          I still see myself as a product of the 1960’s. What a great generation! The world was a mass of confusion, the music and literature spoke of a counter-culture and rebellion. The Beatles, Mick Jagger’s Rolling Stones and Peter, Paul and Mary were the rage in the music world. It was a generation defined by Woodstock, long hair and drug use. Interesting how some things never seem to change. Is that Mick Jagger being helped to the stage?

          The type of the mail being delivered to the house seems to have changed. What used to be advertising for travel and sports equipment has shifted to direct mail prescriptions services and senior citizen assisted living facilities. The highlight of the month is the arrival of the AARP magazine. Who will be on the cover this month? Do I look that old?

          Growing older isn’t all bad though. In fact there are some real pleasures. Grandchildren, sleeping late (after the trip to the bathroom), traveling during the ‘off season’, senior discounts and not wearing a wrist watch are just several of the rewards.

          There is a perspective about life that being older offers. Each generation feels that its problems and issues are new and unique when in reality we have been there before, just with a different twist. It is unfortunate that we can’t learn from our mistakes.

          See how much wiser I am now that I am older?

Keeping it all together...

   I first learned about it almost 45 years ago. Since then it has become a mainstay of my tool box and work bench. There probably has never been anything invented that has had such an impact upon the lives of millions of people. Yes! You guessed it.. duct tape!

   My first encounter with duct tape was the summer of 1965. It was a summer job and I was working at a local mechanical services shop that installed air conditioning and duct work. Imagine that. At one point in its history, duct tape was used to seal the seams of heating and cooling duct work. After inserting one end of the duct work into another, it was screwed together and then wrapped with duct tape to prevent cool air from escaping at the seems.

   Over the years, like many others, I found numerous other uses for duct tape.

   For example, I have used it to secure a piece of trim that had come loose on the driver side door of my car.

   Recently I noticed the owner of a car parked next to me in a local parking lot was using duct tape to keep the passenger side door closed. Not sure how smart that is! But it worked.

   Many use duct tape to secure a broken pane of glass until it can be replace. It may be so effective that the class never gets fixed.

    Often an extra pair of hands can come in handy to help temporarily hold something in place. No vice or clamps available, a piece of duct tape comes in very “handy”.

    I know there have been people who have made dresses and other clothing from duct tape. Prom dresses seem to be popular. I actually find that to be a bit tacky, but sometimes you have to do what you have to do. I will admit, on occasion, I have used a small piece of duct tape hold a pant cuff in place until it can be restitched, but an entire pair of pants?

   Now sometimes I think duct tape gets a bad wrap. As useful and helpful as it can be, it has also been used in many practical jokes, like taping the teacher's desk drawer shut or wrapping a co-worker's mid morning snack in enough duct tape so that they will never be able to open it.

   A trip to the local auction revealed its role in keeping well used, well worn tools together in hopes that someone will purchase them. But duct tape used to keep a wheel from falling off a lawn mower? I'm not sure about that one.

   While there are many funny and humorous uses of duct tape, there have been some serious tragedies too. Adults have been know to duct tape a child to a chair or tape a child’s hands behind their back for hours and hours causing injury and maybe even death.     I don't believe that was the intention of the inventor, but there is an evil side to society and unfortunately things will get used in ways they are not intended. (Wasn't there a social worker who duct taped a foster child to a chair a few years ago? )

   Duct tape is a member of the 'tape' family, others being scotch, masking and electrical.        One of factors they makes duct tape so useful is it's strength. Ever try to tear a piece off the roll and not use your teeth or scissors to assist? And sometimes there will be that last remaining strand of string that runs along the edge.....If you have ever had this happen to you, you know what I am talking about.

   I hope that's not a piece of duct tape wrapped around the wing if the airplane I am about to board. I know the tape is strong, but...My mistake. The maintenance person is using it to keep his pant legs from flapping in the breeze. That's a relief.

   Often I will take a piece of duct tape and as I remove nuts and screws from a piece of furniture, I will stick them to the tape so I won't lose them. I am sure no one else has ever though of doing that. Now if I can just remember where I put that little strip of tape so I can put this table back together.

   The best use of duct tape however, may have been discovered by Maine's previous Governor. Admitting that he often has a problem keeping his mouth shut,  told his staff that he now had a role of duct tape in his desk drawer and “ until election day, when he want to say something off color,  he was going to tape his mouth shut.” I am not sure there was enough tape this side of the Mississippi River for that.