Friday, March 22, 2024

 

Coming To An End…

   The year 2022 is rapidly coming to a close. The last few weeks of each year are often filled with a lot of excitement, celebration and family fun. The days and weeks finishing out each year can be very busy and depending upon your personal beliefs and family backgrounds, religious celebrations, and other cultural beliefs they can add to the pleasure and excitement of the time. But with the ending of an old year and the beginning of a new one, there is one additional tradition that has spanned over four thousand years of history. Yes…4000+  I am referring to the making of the New Year’s Resolution.

   From the early days of the Babylonians to this year’s New Year’s eve parties of 2022, many have and will continue to look back on the past year, identify the successes and failures and come up with a new list of resolutions for the new year. And as this tradition has evolved and changed over the generations from being more religious in nature to more individual and personal in nature, the process has pretty much stayed the same. It begins with a simple question one askes themselves… what mistakes did I make this past year and how can I learn from them?

   On the lighter side of life, a number of those resolutions seem pretty simple. My New Year’s resolution is to lose weight or maybe it’s time to throw out some of my old clothes. But on a more serious note perhaps the resolution may have something to do with breaking up with an old boyfriend or girlfriend or getting a new job because your boss is making life a bit too uncomfortable for you.

   Now I will admit that I have not been the most effective in keeping my New Year’s resolutions. If I could get through the first three or four weeks of the new year I might consider it a success, but sometimes old habits are difficult to break. (That would make a great New Year’s resolution)

   Perhaps, after doing a bit of research, I found there may be some steps to take and points to consider to be more successful. First, pick one area or one thing you would like to change and make sure that it is something that, if you work at it, you can achieve. I will never make the NFL.

   The second point to consider is to plan ahead. Don’t wait until the last minute. In addition to putting additional pressure on yourself causing a bit more frustration, there may be some things you want to change but need additional time and preparation.

   Pick a start date. Changes do not need to be made on New Years Day. By picking a start date it gives you time to get your mind in the right place. And in addition to a start date, develop a timeline. Give yourself enough time to meet any unforeseen challenges and be sure to give yourself credit to the small wins along the way.

   One of the better activities to consider when attempting to establish a new year’s resolution is to look back at some of the failures and mistakes from the previous year. Mistakes and failure are not always bad. They can teach us some very important lessons for the future. The important point here is to be sure you learn from those mistakes and avoid making them again.

   So now… the really important question. Should you tell someone what your New Year’s resolution is? That is a difficult question, because if you tell them and you fail…..well you know what I am thinking. But perhaps they can also provide support if needed. On occasion, in the past, I would write my resolution on a sticky note and post it somewhere, generally out of sight of others, but in a place where I could see it on a regular basis to serve as a gentle reminder. And another possibility? Keep a journal.

   As the countdown to 2023 begins, if you are planning to follow the long-term tradition of coming up with a New Year’s resolution for the coming year, remember that as the thousands of other before you did, remind yourself that the goal is to spark a positive change in your life. It doesn’t need to be big. It just needs to bring you some personal satisfaction and a feeling of accomplishment, no matter how small or insignificant the change may be. It’s about you.

   So with this year coming to an end, I wish you all a very happy and wonderful New Year and look forward to 2023.

 

Some Thoughts On Being A Grandparent…

   Being a grandparent can be a constant reminder of how old one has become. But setting that aside for a moment, it can also serve as a reminder of how much fun life can be watching the children of your children grow up. Grandpa and grandma get to see, while watching their own children raise their own families, many of the joys and challenges that may have been missed, forgotten, or just overlooked. Being a grandparent is an entirely unique experience and I am glad that I am having the opportunity to watch and in many cases learn how growing up in many ways has changed from sixty-five plus years ago.

   But on a personal note, it is heartwarming and exciting to see the grandchildren transition from childhood to adulthood, preparing to take their place in life, whether it be attending college and preparing for a career, taking some time off to explore the constantly changing world or just simply give grandma and grandpa a call or stopping by to see how things are going.

   If they were to ask my advice, which I might or might not do, there are a few lessons and memories that I would pass on, because these are items that have not really changed over time and are still part of growing up.

   Each day is a new beginning and success is based, in large part, on the lessons and experiences learned from the day before and while some of those experiences may have been successful, there may be some that one might consider failures. But remember that failures, although they may hurt and disappoint at times, are nothing more than lessons to be learned.

   One of the more challenging parts of growing up and growing older is to have a better understanding of how and why you feel the way you do. One day you could be incredibly happy and the next day you may spend most of the day in tears and not understanding why you are crying. There may be days when anger fills the heart and mind but then within a few minutes the anger is replace with a love and compassion you may have never experienced before.

   And while you struggle to gain an understanding of what has happened, keep in mind that life is like a file cabinet and a storehouse for previous attitudes and emotions that, without notice, can come to the surface when we least expect them. A forgotten memory, a line from a television show, or the words to a song can stimulate strong feelings and emotions for no obvious reason, only that those emotions and feelings live within each of us for years. Did I mention looking at old family pictures, especially the ones at the local beach or playing in the backyard with the countless number of pets over the years.

   As I began to think about being a grandparent myself, I thought back to the days while my grandparents were still alive and the experiences and opportunities we shared together. It was a different time and the generations were vastly different back then and while I don’t remember many specifics of what we did together, what I do remember is just being able to spend time with them, whether it be by talking on the phone or visiting them in person. And even to this day, often I will pick up a photo album or two and look at the pictures. And the fact still remains that no matter how old I get, not only am I now a grandparent, but I remain a grandchild to those who came before me within the family.

   So to my four granddaughters, I wish for them the best for a good and healthy life and hope that their lives will be filled with the joys and excitement that I was able to experience. Laugh when you need to, cry when you must, even if you don’t know why, forgive when it is needed, and learn from the lessons that life has to offer. And always remember that I will always love each one of you.

I need to add a brief addendum here. I know there will be some who will never become a grandparent for whatever reason. But through friendships with others who have become grandparents, meeting the family members, sharing a friendship and sharing stories, one can gain a sense of the grandparent experience. 

      

  

  

  

 

And The Answer Is…..

   Today’s world seems to be filled with more questions than answers. Wars and conflicts are raging around the world and they cannot seem to come to peaceful resolutions. People in leadership positions is constantly fighting with each other about a safe and secure future. There has been a significant rise in attacks on personal freedoms and how to respect the rights of others.

   I know there are many who believe that they have the answers to many of today’ problems. Whether it be controlling mass migrations by those who are seeking a better way of life, controlling the amount of carbon or other unhealthy substances being put into the air or mixing with the soil, there are those who claim to have the answers and will take almost any action to prove they are correct and have the solutions.

   Now, visiting a local coffee shop may find a group of elderly men in one corner and women in another corner discussing all of the current local and world events. Each shares  their individual ideas and in some cases this can lead to raised voices and the pointing of fingers. No. I am not talking about the current groups representing each one of us in this country in Washington, although if the shoe fits, it might be.

   Recently I was part of a small group involved in a discussion about the current state of affairs and some possible outcomes for the future, yet to be identified. The discussion ended respectfully with everyone agreeing that these are difficult times and that it would take a great deal of work to get back on a path where people could find ways to respect and work together for the future generations to come.

   Now, what I am about to share really did happen and as a result caused me to stop and think for a moment or two, wondering what the true meaning and why at this particular moment, this happened.

   I got into my car to head home and as I often do, I turned on one of my favorite radio stations and the song that filled the airwaves was being sung by one of my favorite folk groups. And the title of the song? Blowin In the Wind. The song was written by Bob Dylan in the ancient year 1962 and was sung by Peter, Paul, and Mary. And the words are as follows….                                  

           How many roads must a man walk down
         Before you call him a man?
         Yes, 'n' how many seas must a white dove sail
         Before she sleeps in the sand?
 

         Yes, 'n' how many times must the cannon balls fly
         Before they're forever banned?

         The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind.
         The answer is blowin' in the wind.

         How many times must a man look up
         Before he can see the sky?
         Yes, 'n' how many ears must one man have
         Before he can hear people cry?
         Yes, 'n' how many deaths will it take till he knows
         That too many people have died.

          The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind
          The answer is blowin' in the wind.

          How many years can a mountain exist
          Before it's washed to the sea?
          Yes, 'n' how many years can some people exist
          Before they're allowed to be free?
         Yes, 'n' how many times can a man turn his head
         Pretending he just doesn't see?

        The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind
        The answer is blowin' in the wind.

                                  Words and song originally by Bob Dylan

   As I listened to the song, I honestly felt that the timing of this, especially after the discussion sitting around the coffee table just minutes, had to be some type of message. And thinking about the year the song was written, 1962, with many of the issues and questions asked in the lyrics raised questions for me. Have we really changed in the last 62 years?

   Many reading this may say that to believe that the answers are out there ‘blowing in the wind’ may be a bit foolish, but maybe the message for me from the timing of this song on radio is that we need to keep talking, sharing the positive experiences and lessons of past generations for the next and new generations. Yes. We need to learn from history and often that is very difficult to do.

  

 

 

Saturday, January 27, 2024

 

Lessons from Mother Nature

   As life begins to return to some degree of normalcy after the recent winter storm, it sometimes forces one to begin to look at things a bit differently, seeking out the answers to many of the age old questions about why, when, and where. Why did this happen now? It’s December and it was a major rain and windstorm. It is more often a blizzard like-snow storm at this time of the year. Why did it happen mostly during the middle of the day instead of some other time, often deep into the night? This storm seemed to hit many different areas causing many to lose power, lose parts of their home and shut down many businesses for several days, while other places, only a mile or two down the road, were able to remain open and continue to provide services, food, and heat to those who the storm had shut down.

   This particular day, three days after the storm, was bright and sunny but a bit cold and there was a slight breeze. But I had some errands to run so I started the car, turned up the heat and got on the highway. It became pretty clear to me after only a couple of miles that others passing me were in much more of a hurry to get to their destinations, while I was maintaining the appropriate speed limit, being the law abiding citizen that I am.

   The road was clear of trees and debris but it was interesting to see the sizes and the number of trees that had been toppled by the 60 mph and higher winds that had accompanied the heavy rains. And even on this day, three days later, water was everywhere.

   But you may be asking what caught my attention. I have seen many storms before in my lifetime, but what became very interesting to me was the type, the size, the root networks now exposed above the ground surface and the perceived age of the fallen trees. The twenty miles of highway on which I was traveling cut through a fairly wooded area with all types of trees of all ages, heights, from very tall pines and other large types, to the still very shrub like one. But the wind and storm did not appear to pick favorites to pull from the ground. Size or type did not appear to be immune to Mother Nature.

   As I continued on my journey I began to notice that what many of the fallen trees had in common were smaller root systems, the foundation that would keep the tree in the ground and provide the nutrition to grow. But what was a bit puzzling was that a number of the trees that had suffer from the ice storm of years ago, all the dead ones, were still standing, branches and new growth long gone, but still lining several miles of the highway untouched by the recent wind and rain, acting as reminders of the past.

    On my own property at home and within the confines of the neighborhood several trees had fallen in the storm and being nearby I took a more detailed look at the root system that had been lifted out of the ground.  I was surprised at what I saw or did not see.

    I know we are not trees but there are some that have compared the growth of trees to the grow of people. What both may have in common is a history, a common family background and a good solid foundation, family roots. Now it is easy to think about trees and plants with a solid root system. With humans, we tend to think more in terms of our roots, beliefs, and character. For me, trees can have character too. But it are those beliefs, the character and support, that get us through those challenging times in life. There are times when we are confronted with difficult and challenging situations, but our strength and determination through those times comes from our beliefs, our character and often our roots. Now, they may not be the ones we plant in the ground, but they are the ones that help us grow into the individuals we become.

   I am not a tall pine tree or a stubby maple, but I will continue to look at the trees that have blown over because of a storm and think about what could have been done to help save them. But what I do understand is that while Mother Nature tries to teach us to be alert about what is going on around us when it comes to the weather and the trees, her message also can apply to our everyday life as a human and build upon our strengths of character and what we believe, our human roots.

 

 

Some Thoughts On Being A Grandparent…

   Being a grandparent can be a constant reminder of how old one has become. But setting that aside for a moment, it can also serve as a reminder of how much fun life can be watching the children of your children grow up. Grandpa and grandma get to see, while watching their own children raise their own families, many of the joys and challenges that may have been missed, forgotten, or just overlooked. Being a grandparent is an entirely unique experience and I am glad that I am having the opportunity to watch and in many cases learn how growing up in many ways has changed from sixty-five plus years ago.

   But on a personal note it is heartwarming and exciting to see the grandchildren transition from childhood to adulthood, preparing to take their place in life, whether it be attending college and preparing for a career, taking some time off to explore the constantly changing world or just simply give grandma and grandpa a call or stopping by to see how things are going.

   If they were to ask my advice, which I might or might  not do, there are a few lessons and memories that I would pass on, because these are items that have not really changed over time and are still part of growing up.

   Each day is a new beginning and success is based, in large part, on the lessons and experiences learned from the day before and while some of those experiences may have been successful, there may be some that one might consider failures. But remember that failures, although they may hurt and disappoint at times, are nothing more than lessons to be learned.

   One of the more challenging parts of growing up and growing older is to have a better understanding of how and why you feel the way you do. One day you could be incredibly happy and the next day you may spend most of the day in tears and not understanding why you are crying. There may be days when anger fills the heart and mind but then within a few minutes the anger is replace with a love and compassion you may have never experienced before.

   And while you struggle to gain an understanding of what has happened, keep in mind that life is like a file cabinet and a storehouse for previous attitudes and emotions that, without notice, can come to the surface when we least expect them. A forgotten memory, a line from a television show, or the words to a song can stimulate strong feelings and emotions for no obvious reason, only that those emotions and feelings live within each of us for years. Did I mention looking at old family pictures, especially the ones at the local beach or playing in the backyard with the countless number of pets over the years.

   As I began to think about being a grandparent myself, I thought back to the days while my grandparents were still alive and the experiences and opportunities we shared together. It was a different time and the generations were vastly different back then and while I don’t remember many specifics of what we did together, what I do remember is just being able to spend time with them, whether it be by talking on the phone or visiting them in person. And even to this day, often I will pick up a photo album or two and look at the pictures. And the fact still remains that no matter how old I get, not only am I now a grandparent, but I remain a grandchild to those who came before me within the family.

   So to my four granddaughters, I wish for them the best for a good and healthy life and hope that their lives will be filled with the joys and excitement that I was able to experience. Laugh when you need to, cry when you must, even if you don’t know why, forgive when it is needed, and learn from the lessons that life has to offer. And always remember that I will always love each one of you.

I need to add a brief addendum here. I know there will be some who will never become a grandparent for whatever reason. But through friendships with others who have become grandparents, meeting the family members, sharing a friendship and sharing stories, one can gain a sense of the grandparent experience. 

      

  

  

  

 

Wednesday, December 13, 2023

 

A Little Change of Pace This Week

 

   My daughter recently signed me up to write some of my thoughts and ideas about different topics each, that she picks, to eventually become part of a books at some future date. The most recent topic was about “the smells that I like”. Interesting. It did cause me to think a bit and after completing it and sending it off, I decided to use if for one of my columns for the paper. So here we go. 

   When it comes to smells, the nose knows. I have found throughout my lifetime that my nose has proven to be very useful in determining my likes and dislikes and while hearing and eyesight and what I see are important, smell is also an important tool in helping us navigate life.

  In thinking about the smells I like, I can put them in different categories, the first being food. One of my favorites is a freshly baked pumpkin pie. There is nothing like walking into the house and within a few brief seconds know that there will be a wonderful dessert of pumpkin pie and although I can’t smell it yet, I know there is also a fresh container of whipped cream to enhance each bite of pie. Perhaps it is the whipped cream I really like.

   Still in the food category, those summer evenings and the smell of fresh hamburgers on the grill begin to prepare the taste buds for an enjoyable and relaxing evening.

   Moving on from food, I find the smell of freshly cut wood processed with the help of my table saw sets the tone for the project I might be working on. The most fragrant wood I think is pine. But more important, the smell of the wood is the glue that I will be working on for another project around the house.

   As I have gotten older, I am not as interested in all the aftershave lotions and body creams that are available on the shelves of the local stores. But I will admit that every once and a while I will come inside after spending some time outside in a hot and very humid day and splash a bit of smell freshener across my face.

   I think one of my favorite smells, thought, is the smell Mother Nature creates after a brief Spring rain shower. It can be peaceful, calming and somewhat reassuring that I don’t have to go outside and water the garden for at least a few more minutes.

   And last, a walk through the woods with the fresh scent of the tall pine trees and other smells nature has to offer is a good escape from the odors created by the exhausts created by the cars and trucks racing up and down the interstate highway.

   Now there is one smell on my list that might surprise you. It is the smell of the manure being spread on the local fields in preparation for the upcoming growing season. Truth is that it is not the smell I enjoy but knowing that winter is behind us now and summer will soon be here.

Wednesday, November 29, 2023

 

I Am Not Listening…

   The group of six or seven stood by the door. Their discussion had become quite animated after the meeting adjourned. Each seemed to have his or her own opinion about the topics that had just been discussed and as always, each was very willing to share their feelings about what had just taken place. But was everyone in the group listening? Was I listening?

   There is an art, a skill, to knowing if someone is really listening to what someone else is saying. And as usual you can do a search online, or just ask Alexa, to learn what those skills might be. I was a bit surprised to learn that there are actually activities that one can do to practice and improve their skills to convince others that you are listening to what is being said.

   Throughout my lifetime I have attended many, many, too many meetings and small group discussions and my own participation in them has varied depending upon the topic and who may have been talking. Often, even today, I found myself just listening, watching others and observing their reactions to what was being said or maybe what is not being said. In this current timeframe, or generation if you prefer to call it that, human behavior looks very different than in the past when it seemed that people paid more attention to what was happening in order to either gain a better understanding or learn something. Today, in addition to the possibility of more than one discussion taking place at a time, everyone seems to be playing with their cell phones.  One only needs to watch the recent broadcasts of the search for a new Speaker of the House in Congress to gain a clearer understanding of why it is difficult to get things accomplished. Maybe, each should put their cell phones in a locked box before they enter the chamber so they can have a greater focus on the tasks at hand instead of the constant interruptions.   But that is a discussion for another time.

   Like many other issues in today’s world, there are a number of studies taking place to determine if people are really listening to what is being said. Even more interesting are the studies and findings that focus specifically at the moment on whether someone is “involved” and listening to a one-on-one conversation you may be having with someone or are they are just being polite, eagerly waiting to get out of the room. How do we know?

   Whether it is a one-on-one or a group discussion, research has generally focused on two areas, body posture and the eyes. If someone is talking and those who are supposed to be listening are looking out the window, maybe out at the golf course or looking down reading their emails, chances are pretty good their minds may be in another location. But more important than body posture are the eyes and eye contact. And the ability or willingness to maintain eye contact is critical as a signal to know whether someone is listening and paying attention. And what do you do if you sense that someone is not listening? Of course. Ask Alexa! She is loaded with lots of ideas.

   We can come up with all kinds and types of reasons why people don’t always listen. They may have a different opinion or belief about what is being said and know it is better to keep silent. They have their own agenda, different from the current discussion. They may not understand what is being said and are often too afraid to admit in a public setting what they don’t know. They may have other issues and concerns on their mind and or have no interest in what is being discussed. They may just want to be outside on the golf course at that moment in time.

          But there may be a very simple explanation for not listening.  “I am not listening. I am just waiting to talk.” Now would you all stop talking and ‘please’ move out of the way so I can get out the door. “Thank you.”