Pull Up a Seat at the Table

 

   I recently attended a granddaughter’s high school graduation. As has been tradition for many years now, there were the usual speeches and student recognitions. In this particular ceremony the class valedictorian and salutatorian each spoke about their experiences at school and thanked the teachers and other personnel who supported their educational journey. Their themes for the speeches were pretty traditional, but the young lady who gave the valedictorian speech had a somewhat interesting observation about her time in school and what gave here the support she found in order to be successful.

   As she explained, when she was a 9th grade student she did not know many of her classmates, had a limited number of friends and found the transition from middle school to high school rather scary. It was difficult to meet new people and make friends in a large high school as everyone seemed to go about their own business, pass you by in the hallways as you moved from classroom to classroom and did not have a great deal of time to meet and talk with others. But then there was lunch time.

   Entering a cafeteria with many other students, most she did not know, was, I am sure a challenge and maybe a bit scary. High school can be scary in many ways.  But taking a chance, she found an empty seat at one of the tables and sat down, not knowing any of the other students sitting at the table. But as she found out, they basically did not know each other either, something they all had in common.

   As each day passed, they would meet at the same table each day and over time they became good friends, got to know each other well, shared their life experiences in high school together and before long it was time to say goodbye and good luck on this day of graduation. This friendship all began by the simple act of sitting down at a table with others and beginning to share life and what it has to offer.

   Now it was my understanding that the purpose of a table, generally a simple piece of furniture found in most houses, was to be used as a place to eat meals rather than eating off of one of those tv trays, maybe a place to do your homework, or a place to drop your books and coat when you got home from school. But her experience with a table at school was much more than that. For her and the others it was a place to build relationships.

   Thinking about the concept of a table as she described it, there are some new things I have observed about tables and how they are used that I may have not considered in the past.

   If you take a look at some of the more important meeting in the world today, the participants are sitting around a table sharing thoughts, ideas, and suggestions. Everyone’s status at the table is equal and this type of interaction can help lead to compromise, agreement and newfound successes. And let’s not forget about gaining ‘respect” for the others. When sitting around a table, it is difficult to not look directly at someone, to see their expressions and reactions. It sure is better than trying to conduct a meeting over the telephone, or the newest approach, something called zoom!

   After listing to her comments and observations about the table, I thought back over my career and life in general and realized that something as simple a table, even a picnic table, can provide and play an important role in learning about other and learning about yourself.

   I can remember during my career, one of my supervisors, when meeting with him in his office, would always get up from behind his desk and we would sit at a small table in his office. While the content and topics of discussion often covered a variety of subjects, the outcomes were general very positive and productive. Were there disagreements? Of course. But being able to sit down at a table and talk them out was far better than getting a nasty email, a voice message on the phone or an edict from behind that big old desk. (And besides, there was always a bowl of chocolate on the table.)

   Tables have been used for centuries for many different purposes, holiday dinners, birthday parties, playing scrabble or other board game. But their real purpose may have been overlooked and I applaud the young lady and her reflection in her comments about the value of table and the roll it can play in growing up and learning about who you are and the others around you.