The Three Ds

   The past year or so has been a challenging time. Life as we once knew it will be for many of us only a memory as we are now challenged to travel new paths, new roads and possibly new directions. It has forced us consider and reconsider perhaps a series of new priorities in our lives.

   Some of the changes have been difficult and hard to explain or understand. But there are some that may actually help us in the long run. Learning experiences. There are some new trends and on a personal note I call some of them my Three D’s.

   Having spent many days and weeks confined to home, I needed something to do. It gave me time to take a closer look around, scanning each room, closet or corner of the garage. No room here, no more room there. Enter the first D, declutter. Do I really need all this ‘stuff’?  How many white button-down collared shirts do I need, especially since I am retired? How many pairs of shoes? Are 6 suits too many to have at my age?

   But look around the room. It is not just clothes and shoes. Its furniture, pictures, books, mementos from trips and travel. It’s the little things that clutter. And chairs. How many chairs do I really need, especially when I can only sit in one at a time?

  But perhaps as I am getting older and with the children now out on their own, it is not only time to declutter but to give serious thought about downsizing. Do I really need a house with three or four bedrooms and a large yard? Would it make sense to have everything on one floor, including the bathroom and the washer and dryer? How much longer am I really going to be able to navigate the stairs?

   Downsizing, the second D, has become extremely popular these days, thanks to real estate agents and the HGTV television shows. But finding a one-story home can be a real challenge. But at least with my current decluttering frenzy underway, should I find a place, I will have less to pack up, I hope.

   The third D is almost as challenging as the other two. What to do with all this ‘stuff’ I do not need, use and have decided to part with. I just cannot bring myself to take it to the local landfill.

  Over the past few months, we have encouraged the children and grandchildren to come walk thought the house and pick out or label those things they would like to have, items filled with family memories and alike. A few pictures, a book or two, a couple of photo albums and…. that was about it. They tell me they are doing their own decluttering.

    Currently my garage is divided into two sections. Section 1 are items I want to keep even though I have currently put them in the category of ‘decluttered’. Section 2 are those items to donate to a good cause. There are some things I might take to the local auction or for a yard sale. But more likely, I would really like to donate much of what is there, just give it away to someone who might need it or use it or most important, like it.

  It is amazing the things we accumulate over the years, for whatever the reason but often become blind to. But there is a time when it makes some sense to give serious thought about what to keep and what to give away. As my father once said, “You can’t take it with you.” He was right, although he did not necessarily practice what he preached in this case. I ended up with most what he had.

  

 

That Was Then… But This, This Is Now

 

   A couple of years past, a half century ago, I had just graduated from college and was preparing for my first teaching job. We were living in the center of West Virginia at the time, the school deep in the heart of the West Virginia coal mining country.

   The closer it got to the beginning of the school year the more anxious I got. I was young. Was I prepared? Did I have what I needed? Was I smart enough? What resources would be available at the school? Now remember…this was well before computers and other technology was available in schools and life in general. No one had ever heard the term ‘social media’.

   We had recently rented a small second floor somewhat furnished apartment and we were attempting to make it feel more like home when there was a knock on the door. The gentleman standing in the doorway introduced himself and said that he was a World Book Encyclopedia salesman and asked if we would be interested in purchasing a new set of encyclopedias. And, if purchased that day, a free bookshelf would be included at no extra charge. (Some sales tactics never change.)

   After hearing what he had to say and thinking that it might help me as a new, beginning teacher, we decided to purchase the set.  And yes, payment was spread out over 12 months. I had not gotten my first paycheck yet and back then that encyclopedia was pretty expensive.

   Half a century later plus those extra five or so years, who would have thought that I would be able to sit in a comfortable reclining chair in my living room and simply say “Siri, tell me who started the War of 1812” or “Siri, in what year was the Brooklyn Bridge built or who was the first man on the moon?”

   Is there still such a thing, a half a century later, called an encyclopedia or are they just a dusty set of books stored in the basement of the local library or in someone’s garage or attic.

   Seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years. decades. These are all ways we measure the passing of time. And then there are the centuries. Time can pass quickly if we allow it. Or sometimes it can just seem to drag on forever.

   The other day while shopping in the local grocery store a young child asked me how old I was. My response was that on my next birthday in September I would be three quarters of a century old. And the child’s response? “Wow. You are really really old.” And believe me, there are some days when I do feel really really old.

   So, which sounds younger. I will be 75 years old on my next birthday or I will be three quarters of a century old on my birthday? Or should I have answered the question by saying that I don’t use an encyclopedia anymore. Did he even know what an encyclopedia was?

   I have been doing a great deal of thinking about what life was like half a century ago as I prepared to enter the classroom to be a teacher. The good news is that can still remember some of what life was like back then.

   And to be honest, there was nothing wrong with picking up volume C of the encyclopedia and look up the history of Civil War. Back in the day, it was how I taught the kids in my classes to do research. It was one of the ways we learned. That was then.

   But today, life is quite different.  I carry this little device in my pocket. It’s called a smart phone and all I have to do is type in a word or ask the phone a question and it responds with all kinds of answers and ideas. Yes, a telephone with a keyboard. Amazing! Back then the telephone had a dial and was wired to the house. It was difficult to even walk across the room. Three feet was about the limit. But that was then. And this is now.

   It’s difficult sometimes to think about the future and how it may affect our lives. Often people sometimes will call it the ‘fear of the unknown’. But if we often reflect back on the ‘then’ in our lives sometimes it can give us strength to face the now. Remember, we have lived through many unknowns before.

   The next time someone asks you how old you are, it may not be the question of when you were born but a question about the life you have lived to get you to where you are today. For me it’s more than just the 75 years. It is three quarters of a century of a life filled with a whole lot of unknowns that have given me some wonderful memories and experiences. Maybe more important, the past can lead us to the way we accept those new challenges that make us the person we are today, regardless of how old in years we may be.

Just because it is parked in your garage..

 

 Just because it's parked in the garage doesn't mean it's a car. There is lots of “stuff” parked in my garage, things I have collected over time.  Some I wanted to keep, some I intended to throw away and some, I just did not know what to do with them.

   As I turned into the driveway and pushed the garage door opener and looked inside, I decides that it was to clean out and straighten up. Basically, the garage had been neat with plenty of storage space, with hooks and shelves on the wall and an overhead area for who knows what. But if I did not act soon, the car would soon be parked in the driveway instead of the garage.

   I pulled the trailer close to the door for the larger items and placed boxes on the floor, each one with a different label; throw away, auction, antique booth and I don't have a clue. After a few minutes of frenzied chaos by pitching things in every direction, I decided I needed a system. Why not start in one corner and move around the room. I always considered myself to be rather concrete and sequential, but the older I get I find that I am becoming more random.

   Now there are some great treasures in my garage, much like my junk drawer. I believe my neighbors feel the same way about their garages. That may be the reason many have garage sales. But I don't have time for a sale, I only want to “get rid of” and organize..

   The project was more difficult than I thought. I have a number of tools that belonged to my father. Too sentimental to throw away or sell. But who needs seven hammers.

   There were some boxes of dishes from an auction at least 6 months ago that I had never opened. Dollar signs danced before my eyes.

   Books were everywhere.   I can't throw away books.  No matter how old or new, the words on the pages need to be shared . Perhaps under the cover of darkness I would drop them off on the library steps or at a local shelter where someone might pick up one or two. Everyone should read “The Oxford History of the American People.”

   An hour into the task and I was exhausted. I needed a break. Coffee would be good. It was at that moment that I made a pledge to myself to never let this happen again. In the future I would decide, before putting something new into the garage, whether I would keep something or not. 

   As I sipped the coffee I looked around. From the outside the garage looked like a place to park cars. Inside it was something quite different. My garage was like people. Just because they look one way on the outside, doesn't mean that's what they are like on the inside. If someone looks old  on the outside it doesn't mean they have no value inside. Just because someone goes to church each Sunday doesn't necessarily make them a believer in God or an honest person . If someone smiles sweetly, does that make them a friendly person?

   If people wear flashy wrist watches or gold jewelry, are they rich? Designer labels and branded athletic shoes have been known to cause death among those who desire them.

   What appears on the outside isn't always what is on the inside.  Parked in my garage is more than a car.  Like my garage, we make too many assumptions about people and how they look on the outside rather than really getting to know what's inside.

   OK. Time to get back to work.

(I wrote this several ago and decided to reprint it with this update. After cleaning up the garage about two years ago, the strangest thing happened......yes I need to do another cleanout and organization. How did that happen?   :)

Does anyone teach Civics any more?

 

 

   The year was 1963. The date November 22 and the time shortly after 2:00 PM EST. Civics class had just begun when the announcement came over the loud speaker that President John F Kennedy had just be assassinated. It was one of those moments and events that may happen once in a lifetime, you hope only once... if it has to happen at all. You remember the day, the time and what you were doing. For my generation it was a terrible civics lesson.

   Unfortunately during my lifetime we have had too many such events;  September 11^th 2003,  the shooting at the elementary school in Newtown and other schools, mall shootings, Boston Marathon.  Events like this are unexplainable but can often shape the quality and character of a nation and its people. Is it all part of being a democracy, a free country?

   When I was in school back in the dark ages, we were required to take  classes  in 'Civics'.One  class was in the freshman year and another government class before graduation. Most of  us thought it was a waste of time. We would much rather be in physical education or lunch. But it was one of those required classes and if we did not pass, we did not graduate.

    Civics is the study of citizenship, its rights, duties, respect  and responsibilities. It is the study of the roles citizens have to each other  as members of a political body and to the its government. It is he study of laws and civil code. Most important, it is the study of government and the roles and responsibilities to its citizens.

   The study of civics dates back to Confucius and Plato and  over time, while civilizations changed and grew,  new elements were introduced into its study as public demands on its governments changed and societies became more complicated. 'Justice for all' and 'ethics in governing' soon became the foundation for most in the study of civics and are still a critical part of today's classes, if the courses are  still taught at all in schools today.

   But not everyone agrees the study of civics is as important today as it was in the past. There are those who believe that justice, values and democracy should be learned, not through a text book, but through life experiences and one only needs to look around to find  growing  support for this belief.

   The 'founding fathers' were very careful as they crafted this nation's  constitution. After the struggles with England , their concern was to ensure  three important freedoms:  choice, action and the right to live by the  results of those actions. To put it more simply, it is the belief in personal responsibility for your own actions and its outcomes. But that was then and ...this is now.

   Times have changed. Society has changed and as a result we have come to rely on government to solve many of societies problems and ills and we freely and willingly take when the help and assistance is offered but become critical, angry  and frustrated when we are asked to give something back in return. 

Do these 'jeans' make my butt look big?

 

     I have decided that if, for some strange reason, every pair of jeans in the country and the world, for that matter were to disappear, there would be 'a lot' of  people walking around “butt naked.” I came to this conclusion as I sat in the parking lot of the local grocery store waiting for my wife to pick up a couple of items.  

   It was late afternoon, bitterly cold and the store was very busy as people rushed home from work.  As I watched the people raced in and out of the store ( it was cold!) I realized that almost all of them were wearing some form or manner of 'jeans.” Many pair were old and tattered. Some were new, Christmas gifts I might  assume. Even gentlemen with shirts and ties were wearing 'jeans'. No black or gray slacks here. The clothing and dress trends have changed.

     The story goes that the term 'jean' comes from the word 'Genoa' and refers to a clothe that came from Italy. Originality it was used to make pants for sailors, being a thick blend of linen and wool. The problem with linen was that it needed to be pressed in order to look neat.

     Years later jeans were being produced in England and were made primarily of wool. And the year? It was the 1700's. Later a new fabric was introduced, denim and the rest is history.

     By the late 19th century America got into the 'jeans' business and the most well-know maker was a gentleman by the name of Levi Strauss. And along with Jacob Davis they would change the industry forever. (It was Davis' invention of the metal rivets to keep the pockets from coming off.)

     'Jeans' hit the beginning of their everlasting popularity by the 1950's . New companies emerged on the scene and as usual, the media played a major role in their success as the rebels on the movie screen all wore jeans as a statement of rebellion. 

     I can remember my fist pair of 'jeans', dark denim blue and stiff as a board. But I could only wear them around the house, never in public. 

     'Jeans' were made for the 60's and 70's and the hippy movement They were to become the symbol of individuality and an independent character as they took on new shapes and designs. And by now, the dark blue had given way to the new look of “washed-out” and well worn.

     From the early 1980's to the present day, 'jeans have continued to expand their roll into high fashion and design. There are very few who do not have at least one pair of jeans as a major part of the wardrobe whether they be designer or regular, distressed or destroyed, ultra low  pencil thin.

     I have several pairs of 'jeans', now that I am retired. I have a “dress pair” to wear with a nice shirt and sport coat, several pair that I wear when working around the house, one pair with the mandatory tears and worn out knee and one pair spotted  with paint. ( I personally like the shirt, sport coat and 'jean' look with boat mocs. 

     The future of “jeans” looks sound and secure, regardless of 'how big your butt looks.' And besides, if 'jeans' were to all of a sudden disappear, what would people have to look at? 

It's not always 500 words...

   Panic. Disappointment. There has got to be something out there to write about, but I just couldn't come up with anything. For many weeks I have always had something to say. And there were the  2 ½ years  of writing for the newspaper before that and there were many weeks when  I  managed to write about something. 
   Admittedly, some has been good and others, well, not so good. But I always had something to say. But  for many weeks now  I had really disappointed myself. Nothing!
   Some of the time I get my ideas and 'inspiration' from the news, whether it be world, state of local. But it has been  a terrible week in the news. I am so tired with this election stuff.
   No question about it. The news has been terrible and maybe really affected the way I saw the world last week. I'll admit it. Perhaps I need to turn off the television or turn down the radio for a few days, weeks, even months. Even the Red Sox are having a terrible year. 2020. Uck!!!
   But then, while riding in the car, there was a very heart warming story on MPR about a small town coming together to help a family struggling with the serious illness of their young son and the financial toll it was taking on the family.
    I don't always get my ideas from the news reporting. I could have written about the scene in the parking lot at the local food store, where a teenage boy, and I assume his mother, were engaged in a loud,  verbal and quickly moving toward a physical confrontation, loud enough that it attracted a great deal of attention from those walking to and from the store to their cars. Someone must have called the police, for at that moment a police car came around the corner. Just as the officer got out of his car, the mother got into her vehicle and drove away, leaving the boy standing in the parking lot. (My suspicion is that the police may already know the family.)
   One of my favorite spots for inspiration came from the local auction. Each Sunday from March until December several hundred people from near and far gather to talk, spend money, brag about their latest finds and to share in the joy of one of Robin's egg, cheese and ham breakfast sandwiches. But now....with the virus.
   I don't remember where it came from or who gave it to me, but on the corner of my desk sits a wooden block, the size  a child might use to build a fort or castle. But this block has pictures and author's names and partial titles of many of the classic, squeezed onto the 6 sides of the two inch  block. Yes...it's a writer's block! And despite how  firmly  I held it in my hand, there was no inspiration or Steinbeck or the others.
   I really feel as though I have let myself down. and my readers too. I had set some goals, but.....something has changed.
   I have two choices. I could sit around all day and fret, frustrating myself even more or...I could get outside in the fresh air, under a bright late summer blue sky, and work in the garden, pulling a few remaining weeds. I opted for choice number two. And besides, the Red Sox games just don't have the excitement and enthusiasm without fans in the stadium.
 

Thing you don't hear any more.

Life has certainly changed over the decades and things that were said reflected the times and often the attitudes. It was very different back in the day... 

•        Be sure and refill the ice trays, we are going to have company later this afternoon

•        Watch for the mailman, I want to get this letter in the mail today.

•        Quit slamming that screen door! ( I missed this one so much I recently installed an old wooden screen door on the back door of the house,)

•        Be sure to pull the windows down when you leave, it looks like it might rain -- and  bring in the clothes off the line, too.

•        Don't forget to wind the clock before you go to bed. (Don't you mean change the battery?)

•        Wash your feet before you go to bed, (you've been playing barefooted outside all day). Now who still plays outside in their bare feet?

•        Why can't you remember to roll up your pants legs? Getting them caught in the bicycle chain is tearing them up and I ain't made outta money.

•        You have torn the knees out of that pair of pants so many times there ain't nothing left to put a patch on. No patch, no patch!!

•        Don't you go outside with your school clothes on!

•        Hang up your Sunday School clothes, you know you need to pass them down to your brother in good condition.
 

•        Be sure and pour the cream off the top of the milk when you open the new bottle. I need it for baking and Pa's coffee.( I would bet there are many kids who have never seen cream at the top of a milk bottle, let alone a milk bottle made of glass.)

•       Take that empty bottle to the store with you so you won't have to pay a deposit on another one. See, returnables is not a new concept.

•       Put a dish towel over the cake so the flies won't get on it. (Someone still bakes?)

•       Let me know when the Fuller Brush man comes by, I need to get a few things from him. ( No he is not your father...)

•       You boys stay close by, the car may not start and I will need you to help push it to get it started.

•       There is a dollar in my purse, go by the service station and get five gallons of gas for the lawn mower. ( $.25 a gallon wasn't that long ago.)

•       You can walk to the store; it won't hurt you to get some exercise. Maybe you will learn to be more careful with your bicycle.

•       Don't sit so close to the TV it will ruin your eyes.

•       Be sure and fill the lamps this morning with lamp oil so we don't have to do that tonight in the dark.

•       Here, take this old magazine to the outhouse when you go, we are almost out of paper out there. (OMG! I found a magazine in one of those ports-potties. You don't suppose it......??

•       No! I don't have nine cents for you to go to the show, do you think money grows on trees?

•       Oh! He's an honest politician. (?)

•       Hush your mouth! I don't want to hear anymore words like that. I will wash your mouth out with soap!

•       Stop crossing your eyes! They will get stuck that way!

•       When you take your driving test don't forget your hand signals each turn. Left arm straight out the window for a left turn, and left arm bent up to the sky at the elbow for a right turn and straight down to the side of the door when you are going to slow down or stop. ( and put the cell phone down!)

•       It is "Yes, sir!" and "No, sir" to me and your elders young man, and don't you forget it.

•       I'm sorry!

•       And maybe my all time favorite..   if I hear you repeat one word of this to anyone I will ground you for the rest of your life. Do you understand me?!!

•       Life was so much simpler  then........;)