A Brief Reflection……

  Several weeks ago I wrote a column about the glass being half full or half empty. Recently several people have commented about some of my thoughts and ideas and what had prompted me to write about a glass of water. After a brief discussion, one person confessed that he had become more aware of the significance of looking at his life and his accomplishments as being successful or where there some things that he needed to do, refill the glass so to speak, in an effort to see life with greater success and a more positive outlook and attitude regardless of his age.

   As I recently walked by the kitchen counter I noticed that I had left a glass of water sitting there on the counter, forgetting to put it in the dishwasher. I dumped what was left in the glass down the drain, opened the dishwasher door and placed the glass on the shelf and closed the door in preparation for the next dish washing. Then…. I suddenly thought. Had the glass been half empty or half full? Did I really care? And how often do we go through life picking up a glass, or more likely in my case a coffee cup, not noticing how much was left in it or what it contained?  How often do we go through life not realizing what we have done, what we have not completed or missed because we viewed our life, as we may do to the glass, as either only being half full or half empty.

   Life is a lot more complicated than a glass (or coffee cup) that is either half full or half empty. But I do think it serves as a good, simple example of how we live our lives, what we believe about ourselves and more importantly, who we  become, depending upon whether we see the glass half full or half empty.  Do I live my life as an optimist or a pessimist?

   At times, the glass does not always remain full because of life and living. Whether we will admit it or not, changes can affect  us and we sometimes may need to take steps to refill glass as we continue throughout our lives. And the route we take to keep the glass full is often determined by how we have filled it in the past. The way I may decide to keep my glass filled today is very different than the way I may have done so 40 years age. But I need to remember that I can build upon those experiences and any lessons I learned back then and I hope that I did not just dump life learnings down the drain in order to simply  empty the glass and start over.

   I am well aware the life ahead of me is much shorter than what I have experienced to date, but time, while it can be a key factor in life and success, does not always determine outcomes and results. Yes, I will never play professional football, but that does not mean that I can no longer enjoy the game. I just need to find different  ways to in which to gain and feel the excitement of the game. I just need to find positive ways to keep the glass filled.

   I very rarely will rework, or in this case, reword, a previous column but, the comments that folks have shared with me the past several weeks have kept thinking and I thank them for that. Those who follow my writing know that I have spent time recently “downsizing” around the house, cleaning out drawers and closets and preparing for the future. I know that the future may be different from the past, but that is part of the excitement of what is next and what I have learned in getting to this point of life is that it is still important whether I see the glass on the counter as being either half full or half empty.

   By the way, I took the glass out of the dishwasher, rinsed it out and filled it to the top again.

  

  

  

 

Half Full or Half Empty…..

   The glass  sat on the kitchen counter still containing a bit of iced tea.  After careful analysis by those in the room, it was determined that some thought the glass was half full while others saw it as half empty.

   Some people might say that there were two points of view possible in this situation, but in fact there are three. The first group looks at the glass and sees the glass half full. The second group sees the glass half empty. The third group doesn’t see the glass at all and only laments the lack of enough iced tea.

   How we view the glass may determine how we see our lives and the world in which we live.

   One only needs to look at the events around us to see that people react to things that effect in our lives in very different ways. There are a number of events around the world today that are affecting the lives of families and friends. As reported, the number of deaths seems to be overwhelming . The deaths and personal injuries being suffered by many would be enough to cause one to look at things and life in these events as “half empty” at best or more likely to decline to see anything positive at all.

   Many might look at situations and events and say that this is part of our existence  and life in the world today and we just need to move forward, get over it one might say. It is a glass half full and these types of situations have always been part of living.

   Each day we are bombarded with news and pictures of horror and tragedy, whether it be wars and conflicts around the world or places within our own country hit with unbelievable situations and suffering caused by violent weather and storms. At least once a week I threaten to stop reading the news or refuse to turn on news broadcasts in an attempt to lessen the onslaught of the bad and the ugly.

   Is it the influence of the media that determines our view  of a half fill or half empty glass?

   But human nature being what it is, it’s not too long  before I read the articles of turn on the television to get my daily dose of world events. And every once and a while, tucked quietly between the stories of sadness and disaster are stories of hope and joy.

   So now we have optimists and pessimists. The optimist will tell you the glass is half full while the pessimist will tell you it is half empty. The person who doesn’t see the glass at all is just angry or in despair and can tell you nothing.

   It is interesting that on all avenues life is made up of a system of checks and balances.

   Whether it is Nature at work or the way we think, people see things differently. Out of a give and take may emerge something far better and that may not be a bad thing.

   It is encouraging that despite differing views,  there are times when most of us come together for a greater good. It is too bad, however, that often it takes a crisis or emergency, a military conflict, or a disastrous storm to provide the motivation for us to work together.

   Now about that glass on the counter? Both sides finally agree the regardless of how much  tea is in it, it’s time to  either fill it up again or put it in the dish washer.

 

It Was The First Real Nice Spring Day

   I was returning from a quick trip to Bangor where I had just completed a brief shopping trip, getting ready for the upcoming seasonal changes. The temperature was a very pleasant 71 degrees and both front windows of the car were open, allowing some fresh air to replace some of the musty winter smells. Scout, resting on the back seat, was enjoying the wind across her face, her nose working hard to find those fresh new odors.

   I had set the speed limit control on the car for 70 mph but it was obvious by the number of cars that were passing me, that for many, they were in much more of a hurry to get to wherever they were going. But the speed limit is only supposed to be 70 mph. Oh well.

   As I often do, I had the radio turned on to one of my favorite stations, one that plays the older hits, the songs from my generation of growing up, where I might understand the words, the meaning, and the message. The song playing was by Paul Simon, entitled “Kodachrome,” a hit from a 1973 album. To my surprise, I remembered many of the words and began to sing along, but as I reflected upon the song’s meaning, it became obvious that over time I had forgotten the meaning or message he was attempting to share. I thought he was talking about a camera.  I was going to need to take a look back.

   After a few more hits by Peter Paul and Mary and of course some Bob Dylan, I pulled into the driveway, unloaded the car and went to the computer. My first task was to look at the lyrics

   “When I think back on all the crap I learned in high school, it’s a wonder I can think at all. And thought my lack of education hasn’t hurt me none, I can read the writing on the wall.”

   “Kodachrome give us those nice bright colors, gives us the greens of summers makes you think of all the sunny day, oh yeah, I got a Nikon camera, I love to take a photograph, so mama, don’t take my Kodachrome away.”

   So what was the message that Paul Simon was trying to share through the song?  I think he was trying to explore the ideas of memory, nostalgia and how we all often look at life through rose-colored glasses. If we remember, for many years, pictures taken by cameras were only in black and white. During the mid-1900s a company developed  ways to develop pictures with color, adding a whole new dimension to memory and the history we thought we remembered . With the addition of color, we had a new way of viewing and remembering the world.

   When the song was written in 1973, the world was entering a time of change and challenge and as he transitioned into adulthood, he wanted to make sure that his mom did not throw away his camera and the pictures he remembered from his early life as a child.

   Recently I have done a great amount of thinking about the past, especially as I sort through pictures, letters, and cards I have collected over time. As we get older, without those pictures to refresh memories, what we remember may only be a distortion of the actual past, regardless of whether we lived life during a time of black and white or with the addition of color. Throwing pictures away, taking books out of schools and libraries does not mean that something, an event, may never had occurred, and as a result, we will  never learn from our mistakes.

   A Nikon camera is something that many living in today’s world will never know or experience. Technology today has made sure of that. But Paul Simon’s concern he expressed many years ago about the accuracy of our remembering the past and its influence on our future is still critical in our changing world today.

   If you have never heard the song or it’s been a while since you read the lyrics, it might be worth getting in the car on a nice sunny day, roll down the windows ,  find a radio station and go for a ride back into history.

  

   

 

Too Little  and Maybe Too Late

    Walking up and down the aisles of the local grocery store can often be a learning experience. As I turned the corner and headed down the aisle in the pharmaceutical section, several folks had gathered as they looked over the display, trying to find the items they were looking for. Several appeared to be in the late 40s or early 50 year old range. Then I  heard it, the one comment that got my attention. “I wish someone had told me how hard it would be to grow old.” I paused for a moment, considering if I would respond or not, but opted to move on down the aisle and pick up the next item on my list. But the comment continued to haunt me for the next few minutes.

   By the time I got back to my car, I was punishing myself for not doing my job. And what was that job? That job is to share the best  learnings and lessons gained from growing older and passing them on to the next generations. But looking back as I sat in the front seat of my car, a car that for the most part could drive itself down the highway without my hands on the steering wheel, I thought about how the generation of baby boomers, of which I am part, had dropped the ball in passing on the lessons learned in life about growing older to the younger generation.  And what were some of those lessons we had learned?

   Maybe one of the best lessons could be to embrace change and adapt to new situations. Life today, and has for some time now, is constantly changing and we need to be flexible and open to new ideas and experiences. While we often feel safe and secure if we think about and remember past experiences and how we may have reacted or did not reacted to them, being able to face newer challenges and move forward is an important lesson to learn because the world is changing fast.

   Another lesson to learn is that of relationships and the importance of meaningful connections with others. Whether it be family members, folks at the office or the neighbor who lives next door. They can and sometimes will provide needed support or can enrich each of our daily lives.

   We are at a time in the developments around the world where health, both physical and mental, is taking on new and exciting learning opportunities. Many living in current societies will have the opportunity to live longer and healthier lives than those of previous generations. But they must learn to take care of themselves. Good health and well being does not come easy.  (My thought wanders back to the folks in the pharmacy aisle in the store.)

   One of the lessons that is vastly overlooked is acknowledging and appreciating the good things in our lives. Now sometimes that recognition is not something that we see right away and because of that delay we often forget to express our thanks or appreciation for something someone may have done for us. But gratitude and a gentle thank you now and then is always welcomed  and can be a key to building strong relations with others well as improving all of the aspects of one’s own personal life. Gratitude is something that can and needs to be shared and can add a lot of positives to a daily life, making you a more understanding and caring individual.

   There are all kinds of lessons and things we learn throughout life. But my thought here is not so much that we learn the lessons. The important piece is that what we learn needs to be passed on to future generations and right now I have some concern that we may have dropped the ball, so to speak.

   As boomers, our lifetime has been filled with many experiences that may have taught us many lessons about life and there will continue to be many  more. Our goal and the lessons we need to be teaching the new and younger generations, all with their own names for identification purposes is simple. How do we learn to cope with change because the world, its values and the ideas are rapidly changing and our current ability to embrace change and adapt to new situations has become a challenge. Hopefully, it is not to late and even though the boomer generation is becoming fewer in number each day, we still have a responsibility to teach what we have learned.

   Now as I buckle my seat and prepare to start the car, I cannot find my car  keys. But wait. All I need to do is put my foot on the brake pedal and push that little button on the dashboard and the engine starts. A classic case of embracing change? Maybe.

 

It All  Begins in Kindergarten, Maybe……

   There are many things in this country that most living here experience at one time or another. One of those common experiences is attending school. Whether if be the doctor who is helping to cure your cancer, the lawyer defending you in a court hearing, or the mechanic fixing your automobile, at some point in time each of them, as well as you who are reading this will spend in a classroom. Attending school to learn how to balance a checkbook, learn the proper order of the letters in the alphabet so that eventually you could learn to read and write and learn the many skills needed to live and work in the world as we know it is important and the classroom teacher is an important part of that experience.

   Aside from what we may have learned at home from a parent of other family members, our more formal approach to learning officially begins somewhere between the ages of 4 to 6 years old in a school program traditionally called the ‘kindergarten’. Dating back to the early 1800s, the word’ kinder’ is the German word for children and when linked to the word garden, its original meaning meant “a garden of children” and was a place that would provide early learning and socialization. And after learning how to have a good relationship with each other on the playground, the more formal learning processes would begin.

   People learn in different ways and achieve at quite diverse levels. Personal  interests, including likes and dislikes,  are keys to achieving success in learning. It is often more than just how smart you may be but how effectively you use that smartness and how it effects what and who you will believe and support. And I have come to believe that there are many perceptions and events in our current society that lead us to judge and misjudge people in general based upon the level of schooling and/or the jobs and careers they may have.  

   A number of years have passed since I worked in a school and taught civics, government, English and social studies and even today I wonder where some of those students are and what they were able to achieve and accomplish in life, not necessarily because of my teaching abilities, but because of what they were able to learn and experience based upon what they learned or heard in their classes .

   I do know that several of my students became teachers, one eventually went on to medical school and several entered West Point. One ran for a political office. But why have I been thinking and reflecting so much on the past?

   We are experiencing some challenging times in  society right now. This is not the first time in our country’s history that we have faced these types of issues, whether they be world war conflicts with other countries struggling to maintain a democratic way of life or conflicts within different segments of our own United States. Are the ways and skills we use to attempt to resolve these issues of disagreement actually taught in school or learned on the playground?

   Although I had seen the video many times before, on a recent broadcast the attack on the Capital in Washington was replayed and for one of the first times of my viewing it, my emotional reaction was quite different than it had been in the past. I had seen it before and it was very upsetting to see the damage, hurt, and pain that was being inflicted upon those participating. But this time I wondered how many teachers and educators, like me,  who were watching, were able to watch it and  saw someone who may have been a student  in his or her classroom. How did it make them feel watching the violence.

   I still believe that, even at an early age, not only do we need to teach children to add, subtract, divide, read and write,  but we still need to understand that that while there are some things we all have  in common at a young age, over time there will be different opinions  and it is important to learn how to acknowledge those differing opinions with understanding and respect,  but not  with violence or hatred.

   And just an added thought here. It was not my intent to overlook the importance moms and dads play as teachers  for young children at home. But the world is very different from the one I grew up in. Many moms and some dads were able spend more time at home than they can today, which implies that the teaching and learning that takes place in the school may be even more important each day.

 

The Search is On….

As we close in on the end of 2024 and look toward the new year, of 2025, there is a somewhat long-standing tradition over the years with a new year to list some New Year’s Resolutions, things we hope to improve upon in our lives during the new year. One of the most popular, over the decades, I am told by Alexa, is to eat healthier food and lose weight.

 Over the years I have participated in this “resolution” activity and a few days before the new year I take a piece of paper and list several things I would like to change in my life and post the list on the refrigerator door, where the list  would serve as a constant reminder of what I hoped to change in order to make me a better person. To ensure that I did not repeat any of the items on my list in the new year, I went on a search to find last year’s list.

   It has been a while since I have seen that list, truthfully, probably since early January of 2024. Like many, resolutions tend to be forgotten a day or two into the year, and life goes on pretty much as we have become accustomed to, eating food we had for a moment may have considered unhealthy or cleaning out the closet of clothing we no longer wore (because it didn’t  fit! ) or making sure we had the oil changed in the car on a regular basis.

  The lesson here is that making changes in our lives can be challenging and in some cases is something that cannot be done alone and needs the support and help of those around us. And what we find is that in many cases we are not alone in our attempts to improve our lives.

   After a brief search and not finding the list I decided to move on and take the risk of developing some resolutions for the new year, hoping that I would not repeat any failures of the past year.

   As I sat down with a fresh cup of coffee and pen in hand, I began to reflect upon the year and some of the experiences that have crossed my path. There were new friends, old friendships rekindled, some new and challenging responsibilities to keep my days busy and of course, some dreams about the future and what life might be like tomorrow.

   I thought a great deal about watching my children and grandchildren grow up and that sometimes it was like looking into a mirror with reflections upon my own life and some of the interesting times and challenges.

   As I thought about what I might want to include on my 2025 New Year’s Resolutions list, I thought about a book I had read this year. It was a “short read” but contained some very thought provoking and interesting perspectives on finding out who we really are as an individual, what we believe and what we value in our lives, why are we who we are and what were those events that had significant influence on your lives, regardless of our age. I questioned myself if my life was really founded on my 78 years of New Year’s Resolutions or was it something else.

   I knew I would not find the 2024 list of New Year’s Resolutions. I don’t remember writing any resolutions for the year, so the need to search for the list was a waste of time but to help navigate each day, the book I found has been extremely helpful. And the title of the book? The Café at the Edge of the World by John Strelecky. I would encourage anyone to get a copy and read it. For me, the idea of understanding my “purpose for existence,” even at my age, was helpful to understand who I am, where I am in my life right now and what my future could be. As a result of the reading, I even keep a small slip of paper in my wallet with what I see as my purpose right now. It’s a great place for a daily reminder as I reach into my wallet to pull out a credit card. For me, that is a lot more effective than the list of New Year’s resolutions taped to the front of the refrigerator. And which by the way, that posted note with the resolutions from the previous years? It had slipped under the refrigerator.